Life-Saving Tips

In honor of Mother's Day, a couple of tips about how to stay alive.

First, if you ever find yourself held at gunpoint, the best way to avoid getting shot is to scream the following: "Go ahead! Do it! Do it!!!"

Second, if you're ever in an accident and rushed to the hospital, make sure to have someone follow you with a videocamera. Then, if you flatline, have the cameraperson do a slow close-up on the flatline monitor. After a short but sufficient pause, the monitor will suddenly start beeping again!

Thank you, movies! Where would we be without you!