Dear The Solipsist:
Every time I hear someone referrin' to a "YouTube video," I find meself stuck for a moment thinkin' they're speakin' of a "U2 video." I used to feel what I can only consider to be understandable pride in the continued popularity of our little Dubliner punk foursome, but lately it's gotten annoyin'. When I hear talk o' "U2 videos," I start to wonderin' whether I'm missin' out on royalties, which could be put to truly noble use! Microloans for Indonesian kelp fishers! A new library for the war-widows of Guinea-Bissau!
D'ye think I'd be actin' too much the bouncin' caffler if I were to ask people simply to enunciate the 'B' in "YouTUBE," so as not to be causin' me such distress?
Yours,
Bono
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Dear Bono (if that is your real name):
While I understand your distress, I think you need to look at the big picture: You're a world-famous rock star, worshipped by millions, who will probably win the Nobel Peace Prize before even I do. I think you should just ignore the whole issue. It's not worth getting upset about. Be mellow. Just ask yourself, "What would Jesus do?" Or better yet, Edge.
PS: Why do you write with an Irish accent?
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