Overheard at the Doctor

Doctor: Well, yes, according to these numbers, you are suffering from acute renal failure.

Patient: Oh my God!

Doctor: Oh, it's not that bad.

Patient: Renal failure?!?

Doctor: Yes, but. . .  I mean, it's not good, but it's not like you need surgery or dialysis.

Patient: But "Renal failure"--

Doctor: Acute renal failure.

Patient: EXACTLY!!!

Doctor: Well, all that means is that this number here (pointing at a chart) has gone up a lot and very suddenly.

Patient: Oh my God!

Doctor: Yes, but that could be due to all kinds of things. . . . Most commonly, it just means you're dehydrated, and you just need to retest in three days.  Your number will probably go right back to normal as long as you drink a lot of fluids.

(Pause.)

Patient: You couldn't have opened with that?