Yuletide Greetings

Just a brief post, as we imagine (and we use the word literally--this can't be true) you all have things to do other than read "The Solipsist." We're off to open presents, and tomorrow we'll be on the road back to Solipsist HQ. We'll see you all on Monday.

Festive Christmahannakwanzakah to all!!

Word of the Day: Humanitarian

As in "Humanitarian aid," the kind of goods and services that United States companies are permitted to sell to nations that the American government otherwise sanctions (e.g., Iran, North Korea, Solipsist Headquarters ((long story))). Allowable products include such things as grains and rice to stave off starvation, as well as medicines and, presumably, some medical supplies and equipment. Oh, and, um, what else?

"[A]llowable humanitarian aid has included cigarettes, Wrigley’s gum, Louisiana hot sauce, weight-loss remedies, body-building supplements and sports rehabilitation equipment sold to the institute that trains Iran’s Olympic athletes."

Remember those tobacco manufacturers who testified before Congress that cigarettes were not harmful? Apparently, they were telling the truth! Not only are cigarettes not harmful, they're medicine! Or maybe food.

Not to worry, though: The licensing office that approves humanitarian exemptions allowing manufacturers to ship to blacklisted countries is on the case:

"Take, for instance, chewing gum, sold in a number of blacklisted countries by Mars Inc., which owns Wrigley’s. 'We debated that one for a month. Was it food? Did it have nutritional value? We concluded it did,' Hal Eren, a former senior sanctions adviser at the licensing office, recalled before pausing and conceding, 'We were probably rolled on that issue by outside forces.'”

Well, OK, what do you expect from government bureaucrats? But, look, ask the manufacturers. THEY can explain the vital role their products play in the health and well-being of innocent populations whose only crime is living under oppressive regimes:

"Henry Lapidos, export manager for the American Pop Corn Company, acknowledged that calling the Jolly Time popcorn he sold in Sudan and Iran a humanitarian good was 'pushing the envelope,' though he did give it a try. 'It depends on how you look at it — popcorn has fibers, which are helpful to the digestive system,' he explained, before switching to a different tack. 'What’s the harm?' he asked, adding that he didn’t think Iranian soldiers 'would be taking microwavable popcorn' to war."

Weapon of mallow destruction?

And if they do, we can always hope that the little kernels getting stuck between their teeth distract them long enough for our boys to finish 'em off.

(Image from Jollytime.com)

Imagine This

First, let us stipulate that any movie in which Tom Waits plays the Devil has something going for it. If that movie is directed by Terry Gilliam, it looks even more promising. That being said, "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus," while not quite up to the caliber of "Brazil" or "The Fisher King," does not disapppoint.

Essentially, the movie tells a familiar story of good versus evil. Doctor Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) is a former monk involved in eternal skirmishing with Mr. Nick (Waits). The main action of the movie unfolds as the sixteenth birthday of Parnassus's daughter, Valentina (Lily Cole) approaches. Years earlier, Parnassus had made a deal with Mr. Nick to enable him to woo Valentina's mother: Any child born of this union would belong to Nick as of its sixteenth birthday. The Devil loves to gamble, though; he offers Parnassus a way out: Whichever of them can acquire five souls first will win the soul of Lily.

Assisting Parnassus in his quest is an apparently failed suicide named Tony, and here's where the story gets interesting. "Imaginarium" was the final project of the late Heath Ledger. He plays Tony, but he died before finishing the film. Faced with the prospect of abandoning the project, Gilliam and company came up with a novel concept: The part originally played by Ledger was divided among Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell. In the end, Ledger's scenes occur in what may be thought of as the "real world," and each of the other actors plays a version of Tony within the "Imaginarium": A realm of imagination where people are offered their greatest desires--either somewhat ennobling (if offered by Parnassus) or base (if offered by Mr. Nick).

Thus, the movie ultimately has a great curiosity appeal: How well did the filmmakers pull off this improvisatory gambit? Does the multiple casting work? What would it have been like if the entire role had been played by Ledger (or Depp, Law, or Farrell)? Curiosity, though, can be a distraction from simple enjoyment.

In the end, the movie is certainly worth seeing, especially if you like Terry Gilliam: As with all his films, it is visually beautiful. Unfortunately, the movie's behind-the-scenes story seems almost as compelling as what unfolds on the screen.

Lights

For our trip to the great wet Northwest, we left early in the morning. REALLY early. (Did you know there's ANOTHER four o'clock?) We drove along truck-filled highways in pouring rain. And we were struck by the number of lights.


Not streetlights, of which there were virtually none: commercial lights. Halogens shining down on auto dealerships. Multicolored neon beacons advertising the presence of a Best Buy or a Raley's or a Chuck E. Cheese. The Genentech compound with its glowing sign. Bear in mind, we saw all these lights around five o'clock in the morning. On a Sunday.

Not that all the lights bore a commercial message. We passed several refineries--of what, we are unsure. All of these facilities had decorated for the holidays: "Happy Holidays." "Seasons Greetings," "Merry Christmas" strung in lights across vast exterior walls. Most buildings also also had a star glowing from their highest points. We wonder what poor slob in the maintenance department gets stuck risking life and limb to spread joy to the highway riders.

You've probably seen pictures showing the world's illumination at night.

How much energy goes into keeping these retailers brightly lit throughout the night? As the burning of fossil fuels threatens global catastrophe, how much CO2 is released as a result of this needless marketing to virtually no one? How much blood and treasure are sacrificed in Mideast misadventures to ensure a constant flow of oil to light the signs proclaiming "Peace on Earth"?

Question

If Jews are the chosen people of God, why would He forbid us from eating bacon?

Checking In

Hi all.


The Solipsist has arrived in the Pacific Northwest. We'll be on and off for the next couple of days but thought we'd take a moment to share this with everybody:


A bus-stop bench up here had a sign congratulating "Marshall," which we assume to be a local high school. Why? In recognition of the fact that "77% of your students don't smoke pot."

So, apparently, a marijuana-smoking rate of under 25% is big news for this area.


See you soon.