Rachael Ray: An Expose (That's "Expo-ZAY"--We Don't Know How to Make an Accent Mark)

In the background, the TV was for some reason tuned to the Travel Channel. We paid little attention, focusing instead on our internet-based cinammon research. Happening to glance up at just the right moment, though, we realized that a massive fraud was being perpetrated on an unsuspecting public, and we wasted no time--we poured ourselves a cup of coffee, drank the cup of coffee, had a bowl of non-racist cereal, petted a cat, had another cup of coffee, showered, did some gardening, spent a few minutes trying to remember what it was we were supposed to be doing, remembered, and sat down to write today's post.

America's Sweetheart, Rachael "Oh-I'm-So-Cool-I-Spell-'Rachael'-With-An-Extra-'A'" Ray, has a show called "$40 a Day with Rachael Ray." On this program, Rachael ships out to various cities across the US where she must subsist on--wait for it--forty dollars.

Now, we can see how this show might prove useful for travelers on a budget.

(Digression: A Dartmouth study determined that the show was exactly 20% more useful than "$50 a Day with Robert Goulet" but only half as useful as "$20 a Day with Kid n' Play." EOD.)

But the show is only as useful as its host is honest. In short: Because Rachael Ray is a big fat liar and cheat, this show is worthless.

Look, we know this probably comes as a shock to those Sloppists who worship at the shrine of Rachael. But we have proof! In the episode playing today, she managed to eke out a day in Vermont only by having an appetizer for dinner. Unacceptable! When the Solipsist vacations in the culinary mecca that is Burlington, VT, he will not--NOT!--confine his gustatory endeavours to appetizers and amuse bouches. He will have meals! (Oh, and WOS'll probably want to have something to eat, too.)

Do a better job, Rachael. Solipsist Nation is watching.

Magnetic Resonance Imagination

According to the Times, when it comes to MRI's, the best medical care money can buy is no better than the worst. 

Well, it's probably better than the WORST care, which would presumably involve leeches and sharpened sticks, but it's no better than the most mediocre care.

It seems that whether a medical scan is performed by a trained technician in a state-of-the-art facility or by a college dropout named Gummo in his father's garage, insurance companies pay the same.

What struck the Solipsist about this news item was the fact that there are no real standards for MRI technicians.  Certification programs exist, but, as of now anyway, certification is not required for a scanning facility to operate.  This leads to a hit-or-miss testing regime, where some patients may receive excellent care and others may be left to have unnecessary surgery based on inconclusive scans.

The idea of "inconclusive scans" is particularly troubling.  YNSHC is no doctor, but one would think the ability to look at what is essentially an x-ray and say, "Yes, there's a problem with that muscle" or "No, you're fine, get back to work you slacker" would not require advanced training--or, that if it DID require advanced (say, medical) training, a doctor would be able to do it.  But apparently, MRI scans are little better than anatomical Rorschach tests.  Your bones and muscles are biological inkblots, open to interpretation, any of which are more or less valid (at least from an insurer's perspective).

So maybe that's the kind of training aspiring MRI techs need:  "OK, Chad, now, if you think the MRI looks like a bunny riding a turtle, then the patient has a torn meniscus.  If it looks like a butterfly, it's a simple strain.  And you're sexually frustrated."

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Yahoo! News reports that Rachael Ray does not regret a "racy" photo shoot she did for FHM Magazine back in 2003.

No word yet on whether FHM has any regrets.