SOLIPSIST: What exactly is the Elf on the Shelf?
COS: Well, he's an Elf. . . and you put him. . .
SOL: . . .On the shelf. I got that part. I mean, what's his. . . purpose? His mission? His raison d'Elf?
COS: He just kind of sits on the shelf and keeps an eye on the tree. . . .Makes sure the children aren't being naughty.
SOL: He's a narc.
COS: Basically.
SOL: So this is some Christian thing.
COS: Right.
SOL: Is there a Channukah Elf on the Shelf?
COS: I don't know.
SOL: "The Menorah in the Corna," maybe?
COS: Doesn't really rhyme. . . .Plus, a menorah doesn't narc on anyone. A menorah just. . . .is.
SOL: Right. "The Jew in the Loo"? Too British. "The Yid in the Frid. . .ge"?
COS: That's awful.
SOL: Yeah. . . . Oh! "The Maccabee in the Back-Cubby"!
COS: What's a back cubby?
SOL: Like, if you have a couple of cubbies in your house? And. . . And. . .And one's in the front of the house. . . And. . .uh. . . one's in the, uh. . . the back?
COS: I think you need to keep working on this one.
SOL: I will.
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UPDATE:
