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Thursday, December 5, 2013

Just Another Day at Solipsist Central (Workplace Edition)

COLLEAGE OF SOLIPSIST: I hate the Elf on the Shelf.

SOLIPSIST: What exactly is the Elf on the Shelf?

COS: Well, he's an Elf. . .  and you put him. . .

SOL: . . .On the shelf. I got that part.  I mean, what's his. .  . purpose?  His mission?  His raison d'Elf?

COS: He just kind of sits on the shelf and keeps an eye on the tree. . . .Makes sure the children aren't being naughty.

SOL: He's a narc.

COS: Basically.

SOL: So this is some Christian thing.

COS: Right.

SOL: Is there a Channukah Elf on the Shelf?

COS: I don't know.

SOL: "The Menorah in the Corna," maybe?

COS: Doesn't really rhyme. . . .Plus, a menorah doesn't narc on anyone.  A menorah just. . . .is.

SOL: Right.  "The Jew in the Loo"?  Too British.  "The Yid in the Frid. . .ge"?

COS: That's awful.

SOL: Yeah. . . . Oh!  "The Maccabee in the Back-Cubby"!

COS: What's a back cubby?

SOL: Like, if you have a couple of cubbies in your house?  And. . . And. . .And one's in the front of the house. . . And. . .uh. . . one's in the, uh. . . the back?

COS: I think you need to keep working on this one.

SOL: I will.


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