Former Muppet Star Pulls Back the Curtain on "Sesame Street"

Spoke to FOS yesterday. We got on the subject of "Sesame Street." He informed us that the classic children's show has undergone numerous changes since its inception some 40 years ago (FOS has two children, so he has some recent exposure to the show). We decided to get the behind-the-scenes "scoop" on the show from one of the original stars, Mr. Grover Anderson, whose new memoir, Passages, hits bookstores this week.

SOL: Mr. Anderson, thanks for taking the time to meet with us.

GRO: Oh, please, call me Grover.

SOL: Grover. . . .So, congratulations on the book. Why now?

GRO: It was time. It has been 40 years, and so many of the original members of "The Street" have just become forgotten. I really think it is time to tell their stories.

SOL: Tell us something that we don't know about "The Street."

GRO: Well . . .Here is something: Most people do not know this, but Oscar was not the original grouch. That garbage can was on the Street before Children's Television Workshop started taping there. It was occupied by a grouch named Sherman, and he was going to be the show's grouch.

SOL: He was replaced.

GRO: He disappeared. On the first day of taping, the producers went to check on Sherman, and they found Oscar. To this day, no one has ever heard from Sherman. No body has ever been found, but of course Oscar will not let anyone in the can, so. . . . Draw your own conclusions.

SOL: We notice that we haven't seen much of Bert and Ernie lately.

GRO: Ernie took a bath in the dot-com crash. He had invested heavily in Pets.com--he loved that sock puppet. Anyway, he took an extended leave from the Street, traveled around the country. . . . Bert is still in the apartment. He does not come out much. He was pretty shaken up after Sherlock died.

SOL: That would be Sherlock Hemlock.

GRO: Yes.

SOL: He died on 9/11, right?

GRO: Yes, you know, it was a shock to all of us. Sherlock had no business being at the towers; he was retired. He had emphysema and an enlarged prostate, but he just wanted to help out. . . . He went in while everyone else was running out, waving his magnifying glass around as if that was of any use. . . . The authorities found his mustache. . . . Bob and Maria have it on their mantel.

SOL: This is a delicate subject, but you yourself haven't been on the show much. . . .

GRO: Yes, well. . . .Look, at the risk of sounding bitter, this was also one of my main motivations in writing the book. I am extremely unhappy with the direction the show has taken in recent years. . . . Some of the casting choices the producers have made.

SOL: You're talking about Elmo.

GRO: (Sighs) I am. I know what people are going to say, "Oh, Anderson is just upset that he is no longer the show's official 'cute, lovable' monster.' And I will admit there is a certain envy on my part. But people just have the wrong idea about Elmo.

SOL: Really?

GRO: He is out of control, Man! Sure, when he first came on the show, he was an innocent; he was fresh off the bus from Iowa! But once he got a taste of the big city, he went crazy!

SOL: How so?

GRO: Well, he started drinking heavily around 2003. I think his troubles really began when he had that fling with Lindsey Lohan. . . .

SOL: That was in '05, right?

GRO: Yes. We thought he had hit bottom when the paparazzi caught him and Lindsey snorting coke off Amy Winehouse's stomach. Little did we know.

SOL: Things got worse?

GRO: After Lindsey, Elmo went after older women for awhile. It was. . . disturbing. But at least these women had some class.
Lately, though, he has been getting. . . experimental again.
And you heard about the whole Katy Perry flap. What you may not know is, as soon as their song ended, Elmo buried his face in her chest and made motorboat noises.
It took three production assistants to pull him off her--and all the time he never stopped that horrible insane giggling!

SOL: What do you think needs to happen for the Street to remain relevant and child friendly.

GRO: Obviously, they need to rethink the direction they are going with their monster characters. Look, Arnold [Arnold McIlvaine, aka, 'Cookie Monster'] and I had our faults, but we were basically good role models. I have been taking medication to help with my rage issues, and Arnold will be out of rehab next month. I humbly suggest that we--or someone--should take Elmo's place.

SOL: Grover, thank you for your time.

GRO: My pleasure.

(Image of Elmo and Katy Perry from Bukowski's Basement; Elmo and Jake Gyllenhall from Allie Is Wired; Elmo and Oprah from Muppoems; Grover from Redcrosspdx; Sherlock Hemlock from Flickr)