Of Communion, Conservatorships, Conservatives, and Covid

Last weekend, a conference of Catholic bishops in the United States overwhelmingly approved a draft statement that could potentially prevent prominent Catholics—including, conspicuously, one prominent Catholic in particular, President Joe Biden—from receiving Communion due to their support for abortion rights. This despite admonitions from the Pope against the statement.

(Is the Pope Catholic? Some American bishops might have their doubts. And so much for rendering unto Caesar….)

The coverage of this vote, in an effort to explain to laypeople (and Jews) the significance of the Eucharist, frequently mentions the belief of devout Catholics that, when they eat the cracker and drink the wine, the Communion comestibles are literally transformed into the body and blood of Christ.

So, if I understand this correctly, Catholics believe that supporting a woman’s right to choose an abortion is a mortal sin, but they’re perfectly OK with cannibalism. And not for nothing, but these folks have also been eating Jesus for some 2000 years now. How much flesh and blood did the man have?

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On Wednesday, June 23, and Thursday, June 24, the front page of the New York Times featured stories about the New York City mayor's race, Supreme Court decisions, the ongoing deterioration of American democracy at the hands of revanchist Republicans. . . and Britney Spears' attempts to free herself from a conservatorship.

Now, I have nothing against Britney Spears.  I've never particularly cared for her music, but as far as I know, Britney's never hurt anybody or kicked puppies, and she's brought joy to millions through her catalogue of danceable bubblegum pop.  She’s a grown woman who, like all of us, has made some mistakes in judgment and haircare, but she certainly has a reasonable case that she should be free to manage her own affairs.

All that being said: IS THIS FRONT PAGE NEWS FOR THE PAPER OF RECORD? FOR TWO CONSECUTIVE DAYS?!?

This is why they hate us.

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The Supreme Court ruled in favor of a high-school cheerleader who was disciplined by her school after she posted a vulgar Snapchat rant about not being selected for the varsity squad. Now that’s what I call team spirit!

Anyway, a good decision by the Supremes, but, frankly, this whole case falls under the heading of, "How is this even a question?"  To recap: The cheerleader, Brandi Levy, posted a mini-rant in which she cursed out the school, softball, cheer, and "everything." She didn't threaten anyone.  She didn't use any racial or ethnic slurs.  She wasn't on school property when she posted the screed--from her cellphone--on a Saturday.  And she posted it to her followers (about 250 of them) on Snapchat, a social media tool designed to be ephemeral: Snapchat messages automatically disappear after a few hours.

I'm glad the Justices found in her favor, but, much like the Britney Spears' conservatorship question, I can't help but think there are more important things for us to be spending time on.

One interesting note: The decision was not unanimous.  It was 8-1.  The "1" was Clarence Thomas, which I found a little surprising considering that he's "Mr. Originalist."  One would think this open-and-shut challenge to the First Amendment would have garnered his support.  Yet, no.  I can only assume that this speaks to Thomas's commitment to always be on the wrong side of every question.

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I’m tired of Facebook posts sharing news articles with headlines like, “Young Mother, 24, Dies of Covid Despite Being Fully Vaccinated.” I don’t doubt the veracity of the headlines—I’m not engaging in Trumpian shrieks of “Fake News.” Nor do I mean to belittle the anguish faced by the families and loved ones of those who die after vaccination. But I do question the motives of those who publish such “news” stories and those who share them online. These stories are the epitome of fearmongering and serve no purpose other than to generate clicks and undermine efforts to vaccinate as many people as possible—which, to be clear, is the only way we will ultimately end the pandemic.

Let’s consider a scary number: According to the CDC, as of April 2021, nearly SIX-THOUSAND fully vaccinated Americans had contracted Covid! Terrifying, no?

Well, actually no. Because as of today, over 150 million Americans have been fully vaccinated. So, even if we assume that the number of “breakthrough cases” (positive Covid diagnoses after vaccination) is now at 10,000–or, hell, let’s say it’s skyrocketed to 100,000–that would still mean that the positivity rate among the vaccinated is less than one in a thousand people. And the death rate is less than one-tenth of THAT. So another way of looking at all these “scary” headlines is that Covid vaccines are more than 99.99% effective in preventing death from Covid.

That’s a death-prevention-efficacy rate that rivals seatbelts!

The frustrating part of all this is that the people I see sharing these posts are usually intelligent, liberal types. They’re sharing the posts mainly in an effort to encourage people to remain vigilant even after vaccination. But another unavoidable consequence of such stories is that the vaccine resistant—the ignorant MAGAts who have decided that science is a liberal plot—get more ammunition to double-down on their hostility to vaccines: “See, vaccines don’t prevent Covid! It’s all a scam.”

Maybe we should tell the MAGAts that once the vaccine is injected, it transforms into the body and blood of Trump. 

Eternal Waking

In the first issue of Neil Gaiman’s graphic novel masterpiece, “Sandman: Master of Dreams,” the eponymous hero curses someone with “eternal waking.” The bad guy is next shown in the throes of a nightmare, from which he, blessedly, awakens—only to realize that he’s in another nightmare, from which he, blessedly, awakens—only to realize…. You get the idea.

While, thankfully, not nightmarish, I very occasionally suffer from a very similar malady. Just the other day, I woke up, got out of bed, fed my cat, poured myself a cup of coffee… when suddenly I realized, “Wait, I’m still in bed.” Sure enough, I found myself back in my bed, waking up. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, turned on the shower… and realized once again that I was still in bed. By the third or fourth time this happens, I start to pay very close attention to my surroundings to assure myself that THIS TIME I’m really awake. I feel the pressure of my feet on the floor as I stand up…and yet, I’m still not really up.

OK, the fact that one of these times I walked into my living room, where I found a retired army general singing Magnetic Fields songs, should probably have clued me in to the fact that I was not quite awake yet, but still! After about five iterations of this false waking, one does start to worry. Maybe this is your life, now. Or maybe you died and this is what the afterlife is.  Finally, my cat decided I had been in bed long enough and it was time to feed her, so she stomped on my rib cage until I woke for real. One of the few times I’ve been happy to be so awakened.

I wonder if this is a common occurrence. Do other people suffer from eternal waking? And am I still asleep now as I type these words? That would explain a lot. Like the penguin in a tutu that’s sitting next to me on the couch.