In Which We Apostrophize about Apostrophes

I've noticed a curious, not to say disturbing, trend in the recent online behavior of several correspondents.  When discussing activities conducted on a regular, weekly basis, many people now include apostrophes where, as far as I can tell, none are required.  For example, someone writes, "On Monday's I take my sloths to the sloth-washing facility for their weekly sloth-wash."  There's no reason for that apostrophe 's': The writer is not saying "On Monday is I take. . .," nor is she describing something in the possession of Monday.  The right word is "Mondays."

(I note, by the way, that when I typed "Mondays" above, I was not even chastised by Microsoft's famous red squiggle, further proof that the pluralization is perfectly acceptable.  Although, "pluralization" is apparently not, but that's another story.)

I hasten to point out that the people engaging in this random apostrophizing are generally well-educated and, indeed, skillful writers.  Whence, therefore, this unnecessary punctuation?  Answers are welcome.  Write me any time.  I can be reached on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays. . . .

Ask Two Jews, Get Three Spellings

Have you heard about the controversy over the winner of the Scripps National Spelling Bee?  Not the fact that the winner was juicing.  I mean, he was, but it was with, y'know, juice; the kid's thirteen years old, for Pete's sake! No, I'm talking about the controversy over the fact that Arvind Mahankali was declared the winner after "correctly" spelling the word 'knaidel.'  Turns out that the proper spelling of this delicious Judaic treat is a matter of some dispute.

Well, what do you expect?  We Jews are a classically disputatious bunch.  And, in fairness, 'knaidel,' being derived from a language (Yiddish) that does not use the Roman alphabet, really has no "standard" spelling.  Thus, reasonable people--or, for that matter, people who bicker over the results of spelling bees--can disagree over whether the proper spelling is 'knaidel,' 'kneidel,' 'knaydl,' or 'jysnofsky'--the spelling is whatever enough people agree it is.  Or, for the purposes of Scripps, whatever Webster's Third New International Dictionary--the tournament's official arbiter of all things orthographical--says it is.

I've never really understood what someone proves by doing well on a spelling bee.  Some folks associate good spelling with intelligence, but, truly, all Mahankali proved is that he has a freakishly good memory.  Still, I guess this could lead to a lucrative career debugging spell-checkers.  I guess someone's got to do it.

I do have one request: Could SportsCenter please stop covering the spelling bee?  I mean, whether you consider the contest a charming throwback to a simpler era or just a moment in the sun for the nerdiest among us--or both--I think we can all agree that spelling is not a sport!  What's next?  ESPN will start covering soccer?