Kind of Makes the Title "Trustee" Ironic

Dave Wilson, a conservative Republican, was recently elected to the Houston Community College Board of Trustees.  He defeated Bruce Austin, a 24-year incumbent, by a mere 26 votes.  Why is this news?  Because Austin and others attribute Wilson's narrow victory to a sneaky campaign strategy: pretending to be black.

The population of the community college district in question is predominantly African-American.  As part of his campaign, Wilson sent out brochures featuring photographs of random black people (which Wilson admits to snatching off the internet) above the caption "Please vote for our friend and neighbor Dave Wilson."  Furthermore, Wilson bragged of an endorsement from "Ron Wilson," identified in small print as a cousin of Dave Wilson--who just happens to share a name with a former (African-American) state representative.

Now, I know I'm supposed to be shocked--Shocked!--by such spurious political shenanigans, but I have to say that I find it hard to see what, precisely, Dave Wilson did wrong.  Look, the guy is a sleazebag: During a campaign for Houston mayor, Wilson sent out homophobic mailers attacking an openly gay candidate.  But calling a politician--even one campaigning for so picayune an office as "community college trustee"--"sleazy" is kind of like calling an investment banker "cutthroat": It's not flattering, but it kind of goes with the territory.  While his mailers "suggested" that he was black, nowhere did Dave Wilson actually state that he was African-American: And if "African-Americanness" was so important to the voters as to be the deciding factor in the election, doesn't it behoove the electorate to make sure that the candidate is, in fact, African-American?  Do Houston voters not have access to Google?

And not for nothing, the man he defeated was a 24-year incumbent!  If he was voted out of office simply for being white, then it suggests either that he was not doing a very good job, and/or that the electorate was just as bigoted and cynical as Dave Wilson himself.  I kind of think they--the voters and Dave Wilson--deserve each other.

Unnecessary Deceptions

According to the latest actuarial tables of the National Insurance Institute (let's just say there is such a thing), the highest-risk demographics are as follows (in ascending order of likelihood of death within the next five minutes):

3. EOD specialists in Iraq (see "The Hurt Locker"--no, really, see it.)
2. New York City cabbies.

And, coming in at number one by a wide margin. . .

1. Grandparent of a community college student.

Seriously, in the nine years or so that we've been a full-time faculty member, we've witnessed the demise of scores of grandparents, particularly around the time papers are due or exams are administered.

We're sure that some--perhaps most--of these deaths were real. We hope they were. Not that we want to see Nanas and Pop-pops dropping like flies, but just because we'd hate for kids to be lying about this. And, again, not because it bothers us to be lied to, but because it's just so unnecessary! Students don't need to justify their absences--we don't care! That's the wonderful thing about college: As a student, you can come and go as you please, and, as an instructor, YNSHC doesn't have to give a crap about whether you come at all. Whether your great-uncle Helmut has recently passed away or you just forgot to set your alarm clock--it doesn't matter!!! Show up, don't show up, do what you will--just get the work done!

And please, keep the Grim Reaper away from Grandma.