#Trendwatch

 Back in the day, before our reboot, we used to do an occasional feature called “Trendwatch.” We would go to Yahoo! and see what the trending stories were, mainly as a way to test our knowledge of pop-culture and current events: Do we know why the thing trending is trending without actually clicking on the link.

We wanted to revive the practice, but Yahoo! is SO 2012. All the kids these days are on Twitter, so “Trendwatch” will now become #Trendwatch, a review of the top trending topics on Twitter. The advantage being that maybe that hashtag makes things searchable and will expose us to all new followers! 

That is how these things work, right?

Anyway: Number 1: #JacobdeGrom Well, we know what this is about. You will recall our earlier discussion of Mets’ pitcher and resident super-alien Jacob deGrom. He started the game tonight against the San Diego Padres. He was his usual brilliant self: Six innings, one hit, no runs, ten strikeouts. As I watch the game now, the Mets’ bullpen is doing their best to throw the game away, but deGrom continues to dominate.

Number 2: #SmackDown I assumed this referred to what people want to do when listening to the ravings of Marjorie Taylor Greene, but it turns out it’s a wrestling thing. Or “wrestling” thing. Or wrestling “thing.” Anyway, it’s apparently on TV tonight, so watch if you’re into that sort of thing.

Number 3: #spacesgottalent The description: “Musicians are throwing it back to the 2000s as they perform for a panel of judges on spaces.” I first read that as “. . .in space,” and I thought, “I have no idea what that is, but it sounds incredibly cool.” Then I read it correctly as “…on spaces,” and I thought, “I have no idea what that is.” But whatever it is, musicians are performing on it! So… watch if you’re into that sort of thing.

Number 4: #TheLastDriveIn I think this is a series on Shudder, which I think is like Netflix for horror movies. . .  I thought Netflix was Netflix for horror movies.

Number 5: #readytolove Also apparently a TV show. Certainly not descriptive of Your Not So Humble Correspondent. More like #readytomisanthropize here.

Things He Said and Didn't Say

During last night's presidential debate, I tried my hand at live-blogging. . .or live-tweeting. . . or tweet-blogging--whatever you call it.  And I rocked!  Took to it like a duck takes to. . . whatever it is ducks take to.  Juice, maybe?  But today I'm back at my normal station to offer some final thoughts (for now) on last night's political festivities.

I suppose Romney "won" the debate, for what it's worth, which is not much.  President Obama seems to be maintaining a comfortable lead in the major swing states.  His main goal last night was simply to avoid any "47% of Americans are bloodsucking parasites"-like gaffe, and by that standard, I'd say he did fine.  That being said, there were a few things I wish he had pounced on.

Everybody is jumping all over Romney for first praising and then threatening to whack Big Bird.  (DIGRESSION: I keep envisioning Romney and Ryan as Caiaphas and Annas:: "Like Henson before him /  This Big Bird must die / Must die, must die /  This Big Bird must die /  For the sake of the Nation / This Big Bird must diiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee."  And before you ask, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SvJhOO_EfQ)  EOD)  President Obama probably should have pointed out that, even cutting all funding for PBS would do approximately nothing to balance the budget.  Still, he could afford to let that one slide, as folks like America's favorite astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson can take up the fight:  "Cutting PBS support (0.012% of budget) to help balance the Federal budget is like deleting text files to make room on your 500Gig hard drive."

There were a couple of points, though, where President Obama truly needed to go for the throat.  First were Romney's repeated claims that President Obama "cut" $716 billion from Medicare.  (A) Obama "cut" $716 billion in the same way that, if your landlord decides to reduce your rent by $100 a month, you would "cut" your rent budget.  It's called savings, jackass.  Excuse me.  That's rude.  This man could be our President.  It's called savings, Governor Jackass.  (B) The exact same $716 billion "cut" was endorsed by Romney's running-mate Paul Ryan!  Maybe President Obama feels that this claim, since it has been thoroughly and repeatedly debunked, needed no response.  Except it really did!  Sure, the president's supporters know Romney's full of shit, and Romney's supporters don't care.  But those seven uncommitted voters in Ohio who are going to decide the election may NOT know it yet, and President Obama must call shenanigans loud and clear every chance he gets.

I also couldn't believe the gall of Romney's repeated assertions that he is more bipartisan than President Obama because he, Romney, had to work with an overwhelmingly Democratic legislature in Massachusetts.  Does Mitford not realize that this attests less to his bipartisanship than to that of the Bay State Democrats?  Did the leader of the Massachusetts State Senate Democrats state in the early days of the Romney administration that his number one goal was to make sure that the Mittster was a one-term governor?  Come on, Barack!  This is easy!

Anyway, there are a couple more debates, as well as a Biden-Ryan showdown, still to come.  I hope the President brings some good ol' Chicago-style brass knuckles to the next fight.

Apres MOS, le Deluge

We've all had lots of laughs this year poking fun at those silly, silly Mayans who supposedly predicted the world would end on the disconcertingly specific date December 21, 2012.  In reality, they probably said no such thing and simply ran out of space on their calendar stone.  But I'm beginning to think they may have made such a prediction and, moreover, may have been right.

The signs of the coming end-times are all around us, from violent weather to Mitt Romney.  Still, I didn't put the pieces together until today.  For those keeping a keen eye out for signs of the coming apocalypse, brace yourself, I've got one: Today,  my mother, the world-famous MOS. . .tagged me on Facebook.  MOS.  Tagged me.  On Facebook.

This is the woman who doesn't own a television!  Who isn't sure about the difference between DVDs and DVRs!  Who told me her keyboard was broken when it would only print in capital letters--as if it were somehow "locked" in that position!

OK, maybe I exaggerate, but the tagging thing has me a little freaked out.

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Incidentally, I finally bit the bullet and opened a Twitter account, mostly so I could receive a steady stream of headlines from The Onion.  I'd invite you all to follow me there, but I don't exactly know how to do that.  I'm totally serious, by the way.  (And yes, the irony of admitting technological illiteracy after just trashing MOS for the same is not lost on me.)  I know it has something to do with following me "@" something, but I'm not sure what comes after the "@."  Try @JasonBerner, if you're so inclined.  And who knows, if I get some followers, maybe I'll start tweeting!  Who KNOWS what kind of wacky crap will come out of this twisted and troubled mind?

To Tweet or Not to Tweet

The other day, we had a presentation on using social media in the classroom.  The presenter endorsed YouTube, as well as Facebook and old favorites like e-mail (not, strictly speaking, social media, but why quibble?).  She was especially enthusiastic, though, about Twitter.  She said Twitter provided a great way to stay in touch with your students.  I'm still not completely clear on how Twitter works, but I guess the idea is that you could have your students "follow" you, and thereby have an easy way to pass along interesting bits of information, as well as to communicate more prosaically about such things as class announcements, homework, etc.

Sounds reasonable enough.  And I suppose that, if I ever do decide to commence tweeting, I can now justify it under the pretense that I was doing it to become a more effective teacher.  Sure, you and I know the truth: that I could no longer resist my gnawing unease at the thought of a media platform existing without my presence.  But we'll just keep that between us.

I still have trouble with the whole 140-character limit: It takes me 140 characters just to say "Good morning" (I use a lot of extra 'o's).  On the whole, though I suspect I'm slowly but inexorably being drawn into the Twitterverse.  Resistance is futile.

Shame on You, England

No less an authority than John Cleese once said that the worst insult you could hurl at an Englishman is to tell him he has no sense of humor. We imagine that South Yorkshire judge Jacqueline Davies has received many such insults over the last couple of days, after ordering convicted "Twitter Terrorist" Paul J. Chambers to pay a nearly $5,000 fine.

If you haven't followed the case, the facts are these: In January, Chambers planned to travel to Northern Ireland to visit a woman he met online. Upon arriving at Robin Hood Airport--

(DIGRESSION: "Robin Hood Airport"?!? EOD)

--Chambers found all flights grounded as a result of weather. An avid "tweeter," Chambers then posted the following message to his followers: "Robin Hood Airport is closed. You've got a week to get your [expletive] together, otherwise I'm blowing the airport sky high!!"

Now, this is what we in North America call a "joke." Admittedly, it lacks a certain knee-slapping quality that we find in our finest humorists, but still we would expect a country that prides itself on its sense of humor--and on its finely-tuned sense of irony--would pick up on the subtle, almost Wildean undertones present in Chambers' quip. Unfortunately, the authorities saw no humor in the post; instead, they saw imminent danger. Police arrested Chambers at his place of employment, which quickly became his former place of employment. He was convicted of sending a menacing message over a public telecommunications network. He moved to Northern Ireland to live with the woman he planned to visit on that January night (some happy ending there, we suppose), but was subsequently fired from another job when his criminal record was discovered.

Since his conviction, Chambers has become a cause celebre among the Twitterati and free-speech advocates everywhere. He has spawned a Twitter topic, #I am Spartacus, where people from around the world can proclaim themselves fellow "Paul Chamberses" and announce their intention to blow up the landmark of their choice. In that spirit, although we refuse to tweet, we would like to proclaim our intention to blow up time itself (we got the idea from "Doctor Who"--nasty Daleks!) if Paul Chambers' conviction is not overturned!

Postscript: Has it not occured to anyone that if someone were actually planning a major terrorist attack, he or she would be unlikely to announce it on "Twitter"? Facebook, maybe, but Twitter?