Random Thoughts

We desperately need a lawn so we can yell at damn kids to keep the hell off it.

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Do you realize that cavemen probably never suffered from scurvy? Lucky bastards! And they didn't even need the FDA to force them off soda.

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This afternoon, at a local waffle establishment, WOS excoriated us for resting our elbows on the table. Isn't it time we retired this one? From the minimal research we have conducted, it appears the prohibition arose from medieval times, when standards of table manufacturing were somewhat lax, specifically when it came to legs. Irregular or otherwise poorly constructed table legs would make tables prone to tipping over if the local (no doubt heavily armored and bear-skinned) Vikings rested their elbows upon them. But this is 20th-century America, Gosh darn it! Table artisans long ago perfected leg craftsmanship. We reserve the right to rest elbows, feet, or any other protruding body parts wherever we so desire!

Now get off our parking lot, you damn kids!