Snicker

When Anthony Weiner was forced to resign from Congress in disgrace, after news broke that he had engaged in salacious Twitter relationships with numerous women, the scandal was greeted with glee by the tabloid-late night comedy complex, due in no small part to the irresistible connotations of the Congressman's last name.  I can only imagine Anthony's embarrassment.  Still, I wonder how much it bothered him, given the fact that, after resigning, he formed a consulting business named "Woolf Weiner Associates."  The man is just asking for it.

Ranting and Ridiculousness

Two things from today's paper:

First, the soapbox: An article about the weak economy's impact on federal budget negotiations discusses various options under discussion, including things like raising taxes, cutting government spending, providing more fiscal stimulus, extending unemployment benefits, etc.

"Republicans would probably support extending the tax cuts, but not the unemployment aid. 'I don’t know if throwing more money at the problem is going to solve anything,' Reince Priebus, the Republican Party chairman, said Wednesday at a breakfast hosted by Bloomberg News."

In other words, in times of fiscal calamity, the Republican Party would unapologetically look out for the interests of the wealthy while declining to maintain a lifeline for the unemployed.

We realize this is nothing new, and we should no longer be surprised at the misanthropy exemplified by Republican politicians. What we can no longer fathom is how, with policies so blatantly contemptuous of lower-class and, franly, middle-class Americans these people can continue to be elected. There are certainly more lower- and middle-class voters than wealthy ones. Who votes for these people?!?

On the lighter side:

Another article details the increase in the amount of business loans being made by hedge funds, as opposed to more conventional lenders. We don't have anything to say about the article per se, but the writer does quote extensively from a businessman who has received loans from a hedge-fund: the chief executive of Rentech, D. Hunt Ramsbottom.

Some cable network should snap this guy up for a talk-show immediately and pair him up with the recently scandal-plagued congressman from New York: We figure "The Weiner-Ramsbottom Hour" would become instant appointment television.

Solipsistography
"Bank Said No? Hedge Funds Fill a Void in Lending"
"Economy's Woes Shift the Focus of Budget Talks"

Guess We Saw That Coming

So to speak.

We had hoped that Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-Ironicnameopolis) did not actually tweet the now-infamous picture of his, um, legislative package. Frankly, though, he lost all credibility when he couldn't--or, more to the point, wouldn't--answer directly the question of whether the picture was him. Of course, it's not inconceivable that a man would be unable to identify a random penis, but any man can identify his own. Plus, given the angle at which the picture was taken--straight down--the fact that Wiener could not categorically deny that the picture was him proved that, if nothing else, he has taken such pictures. Either that, or that is one hell of a paparazzo.

Not that there's anything wrong with taking pictures of one's own assets. As with so many scandals, the problem lies not so much in the act itself as in the cover-up. Not that much was being covered up. You know what we mean.

We take no joy in today's announcement. From what we know of his politics, Rep. Weiner seems like a good guy who's on the right side of the issues. It remains to be seen whether this will be an utter career-killer (Weiner has said he won't resign), but certainly it deprives Democrats of a strong voice when they can use all of those they can get.

Boobies! (Toldja We Were Gonna Be Whimsical)

Today the Solipsist had his students draft a movie review.  We first discussed the elements that could be critiqued (e.g., plot, acting, script, etc.).  Then the Solipsist asked the class to work in groups to discuss a movie and come up with some notes toward a review.  In one group, a student was talking about "Watchmen."  His comment: "'Watchmen' was a good movie, but there was too much penis!"

Now THAT's a topic sentence!

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So, as promised, the Brassage.

The other day, "Good Morning America" (GMA) featured a report on the "Brassage," a specially designed bra that supposedly massages the lymph nodes, thereby removing toxins from the body and perhaps even helping prevent breast cancer.  When the Solipsist saw this, he figured it had to be good for a couple hundred words.  We'll see.

First, there's something jarring about turning on GMA and being confronted with scenes from a Victoria's Secret runway show (or the like).  Not that there's anything wrong with buxom women in lacy thongs flouncing down a catwalk at any time of day, but one really wants to have one's coffee first, so as to be more fully awake and aware to appreciate it.  At the same time, one almost pities the poor hausfrau (or hausmann, for that matter), who looks to the morning news and talk shows as innocuous background noise for getting the kids ready for school.  All of a sudden, little Johnny, who's in 6th grade and just starting to feel those funny stirrings down there, has stopped eating his Froot Loops and is going to be hungry on the school bus, all because he couldn't take his eyes off the television.  Anyway, the Solipsist is all in favor of healthy breasts, but he's pretty sure that none of those lingerie-clad models was actually wearing the Brassage.

Still, we could chalk this all up as a variant on that classic marketing ploy, "SEX!!!!  OK, now that I've got your attention, let's talk about the latest innovations in paper-clip technology."  But what about the Brassage itself?  Does it work?  And if so, then, if this video reaches even ONE at-risk woman, isn't it worth a couple of Froot-Loop-deprived pre-adolescents?  Perhaps, but this is a significant "if."

According to yesterday's Chicago Sun-Times (click on today's title for a link to the article), the Brassage has been pulled from the market following the GMA--you should excuse the expression--expose, during which the bra's designer walked out of the interview when questions were raised about the product.

It's probably all for the best.  One has images of far too many bar fights breaking out after some variant of the following conversation:

"Hey, Asshole, did you just feel up my girlfriend?"

"Wha'?  [Heavy Brooklyn accent] Na, na, na.  I mean, not fuh nothin'.  Ah just thought dat she looked like she was buildin' up some toxins.  KnowwhatImean?"

Punch.

Now, the question is, do they have a similar product for prostate cancer?

Tomorrow: Puns!