(An addendum to yesterday's post.)
SOL: We can't eat Papa John's pizza.
WOS: OK. . . .We never really do.
SOL: I know, but now we can't eat it out of principle, not just because they make bad pizza.
WOS: Why?
SOL: Their CEO is threatening to raise the price of pizza and, more importantly, cut back on his workers' hours so that he won't have to pay for healthcare.
WOS: Jerk.
SOL: I know.
WOS: Anyway, Papa John's pizza is terrible.
SOL: Is it?
WOS: Yeah, don't you remember? We got it once. It was so bad even YOU didn't finish your pizza.
SOL: Oh, really? I don't remember, and-- Hey!
WOS: What?
SOL: What do you mean "EVEN YOU"? What are you insinuating?
WOS: I. . . Uh. . .
SOL: You're saying something about me! And eating things!
WOS: No! No, I. . . That is. . . Oh, look a cat!
SOL: Ooooh. . . Cat.
Showing posts with label Pizza. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pizza. Show all posts
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
It's On
Have you heard about the "job creators" who, in a fit of toddler-esque spite, are laying off workers in the wake of President Obama's re-election. Ostensibly. they can "no longer afford" these workers due to the onerous taxes that the Obama administration has not actually imposed, to say nothing of the mandates of the Affordable Care Act. Papa John's CEO John Schnatter, for example, ominously warned that, once Obamacare is enacted, customers may have to pay up to 14 cents more for a pizza. . . .
I'm sorry, that doesn't quite capture things:
UP TO 14 CENTS MORE PER PIZZA!!!!!
There, that's better.
Anyway, Schnatter has now said he will reduce workers' hours so as to avoid having to provide them with health insurance (a requirement that kicks in when employees work more than 30 hours a week). To put it another way, Schnatter will charge you more for pizza AND force you to pay for his employees' health care when they show up at emergency rooms and/or sign up for taxpayer-sponsored insurance policies.
Mr. Schnatter, I personally have no problem paying an extra 14 cents for pizza if it means people get healthcare. In fact, I'm willing to pay up to--oh, I don't know, an extra 28 cents! Maybe even 43! But guess what? I--and I suspect many other like-minded folks--will not spend a DIME on your pizza if this is your attitude toward the public good.
By the way, to whatever audience I have: Please pass along any information about companies that are responding with similar petulance to the thought of having to, y'know, contribute to society. Not so much to ME--rather to Facebook and any other outlets that have a wider reach. If these folks don't like the cost of doing business, let's try to make sure they have considerably less business to do.
I'm sorry, that doesn't quite capture things:
UP TO 14 CENTS MORE PER PIZZA!!!!!
There, that's better.
Anyway, Schnatter has now said he will reduce workers' hours so as to avoid having to provide them with health insurance (a requirement that kicks in when employees work more than 30 hours a week). To put it another way, Schnatter will charge you more for pizza AND force you to pay for his employees' health care when they show up at emergency rooms and/or sign up for taxpayer-sponsored insurance policies.
Mr. Schnatter, I personally have no problem paying an extra 14 cents for pizza if it means people get healthcare. In fact, I'm willing to pay up to--oh, I don't know, an extra 28 cents! Maybe even 43! But guess what? I--and I suspect many other like-minded folks--will not spend a DIME on your pizza if this is your attitude toward the public good.
By the way, to whatever audience I have: Please pass along any information about companies that are responding with similar petulance to the thought of having to, y'know, contribute to society. Not so much to ME--rather to Facebook and any other outlets that have a wider reach. If these folks don't like the cost of doing business, let's try to make sure they have considerably less business to do.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Irrelevant Pizzas
Mr. Irrelevant News Story of the DayIt's all about pizza today, folks: "Crust Is a Canvas for Pizza's New Wave" . OK, really, is pizza EVER irrelevant? Whether it's more relevant than
is a matter of personal opinion.
The writer, Frank Bruni, makes a good point about pizza: "[T]he surest element of success is balance." This is true, but it really serves more as a clarification of the points of contention than as a hard and fast metric for pizza success. Because balance is in the eye (mouth) of the beholder. If you take your basic pizza components--sauce, cheese, and toppings--the proper ratio is peculiar to each palate. Only a fool or Domino's would consider defaulting to a simple 33 1/3% apportionment of each. WOS, for example, is a 40-20-40 type: She loathes an overabundance of cheese. The Solipsist, on the other hand, can't get enough cheese: Give him a 20-40-40 everytime! (But it's imperative that the cheese be properly melty so as not to slide off the crust in a gooey mess. That's just nasty.)
The article speaks of a renaissance in pizza craftsmanship that has been going on in New York since about 2004. Gourmet pizza is all well and good, but, when it comes right down to it, aren't we all basically in love with the pizza of our youth (whatever that may be)? Sure, we know that Romeo's on 37th Avenue was probably not the grandest or best pizza in the world. But it was OUR pizza. And this, by the way, is why it's rude to snicker at residents of, say, Arkansas, who SWEAR that Mrs. Wilson's Pizza and Cake Shop features the BEST PIZZA IN THE WORLD! Of course it doesn't, but these people don't know any better.
Why, we've recently heard from a friend who swears she's found delicious pizza in (wait for it) PITTSBURGH! Adorable. Then again, she's from Canada and can't be expected to understand. When first confronted with a pizza, she thought it was just a particularly pungent device for teaching fractions.
(Digression: The Solipsist will be getting his ass kicked shortly. EOD)
********************************************
Cultural Illiteracy Check
As of this moment, here are the "Top Ten Yahoo" searches:
10. G8 Summit: A meeting of the world's 8 largest economies. Must be happening soon.
9. Swine Flu: Well, we all know what that is. Must be a popular search because Rupert (Ronald Weasley) Grint has it.
8. Judith Hill: No idea who that is or why people are looking her up.
7. Strep Throat: Uh. . . . Maybe people who look up swine flu get hooked on disease? No idea.
6: Claude Lemieux: Hockey player? Related to Mario? No idea why he's being searched.
5. Battlefield 1943: ????
4. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: Movie coming out soon.
3. Anna Paquin: Academy-Award winning actress ("The Piano"), also plays Rogue in the X-Men franchise. No idea why she's being searched.
2. LeBron James: Well, why WOULDN'T he be searched. We heard on "SportsCenter" that he's involved in some controversy. The rumor is that he contacted Trevor Ariza (who left the Lakers for the Cavs) and assured him that he was going to stay in Cleveland after 2010, when his contract expires.
1. Steve McNair: Obvious.
OK, so we're going to give ourself a cultural literacy score of 50% for today--that is, for 5 of these ten items, we know what they are and can at least speculate on why they are major search items. If you're keeping track, we're at 40% for the week.
(Image from Pizza Hut)
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