In the first issue of Neil Gaiman’s graphic novel masterpiece, “Sandman: Master of Dreams,” the eponymous hero curses someone with “eternal waking.” The bad guy is next shown in the throes of a nightmare, from which he, blessedly, awakens—only to realize that he’s in another nightmare, from which he, blessedly, awakens—only to realize…. You get the idea.
While, thankfully, not nightmarish, I very occasionally suffer from a very similar malady. Just the other day, I woke up, got out of bed, fed my cat, poured myself a cup of coffee… when suddenly I realized, “Wait, I’m still in bed.” Sure enough, I found myself back in my bed, waking up. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, turned on the shower… and realized once again that I was still in bed. By the third or fourth time this happens, I start to pay very close attention to my surroundings to assure myself that THIS TIME I’m really awake. I feel the pressure of my feet on the floor as I stand up…and yet, I’m still not really up.
OK, the fact that one of these times I walked into my living room, where I found a retired army general singing Magnetic Fields songs, should probably have clued me in to the fact that I was not quite awake yet, but still! After about five iterations of this false waking, one does start to worry. Maybe this is your life, now. Or maybe you died and this is what the afterlife is. Finally, my cat decided I had been in bed long enough and it was time to feed her, so she stomped on my rib cage until I woke for real. One of the few times I’ve been happy to be so awakened.
I wonder if this is a common occurrence. Do other people suffer from eternal waking? And am I still asleep now as I type these words? That would explain a lot. Like the penguin in a tutu that’s sitting next to me on the couch.
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