In the background, the TV was for some reason tuned to the Travel Channel. We paid little attention, focusing instead on our internet-based cinammon research. Happening to glance up at just the right moment, though, we realized that a massive fraud was being perpetrated on an unsuspecting public, and we wasted no time--we poured ourselves a cup of coffee, drank the cup of coffee, had a bowl of non-racist cereal, petted a cat, had another cup of coffee, showered, did some gardening, spent a few minutes trying to remember what it was we were supposed to be doing, remembered, and sat down to write today's post.
America's Sweetheart, Rachael "Oh-I'm-So-Cool-I-Spell-'Rachael'-With-An-Extra-'A'" Ray, has a show called "$40 a Day with Rachael Ray." On this program, Rachael ships out to various cities across the US where she must subsist on--wait for it--forty dollars.
Now, we can see how this show might prove useful for travelers on a budget.
(Digression: A Dartmouth study determined that the show was exactly 20% more useful than "$50 a Day with Robert Goulet" but only half as useful as "$20 a Day with Kid n' Play." EOD.)
But the show is only as useful as its host is honest. In short: Because Rachael Ray is a big fat liar and cheat, this show is worthless.
Look, we know this probably comes as a shock to those Sloppists who worship at the shrine of Rachael. But we have proof! In the episode playing today, she managed to eke out a day in Vermont only by having an appetizer for dinner. Unacceptable! When the Solipsist vacations in the culinary mecca that is Burlington, VT, he will not--NOT!--confine his gustatory endeavours to appetizers and amuse bouches. He will have meals! (Oh, and WOS'll probably want to have something to eat, too.)
Do a better job, Rachael. Solipsist Nation is watching.
Ah, pardonez-moi....would you puhleees pass me the Maple Syryp for my Blueberry Pancakes with a side order of Sausage and Hash Browns with an egg over-easy on top....Rachael......amuse this!!!
ReplyDeleteUntil the advent of Sarah Palin, Rachaelalala Raye WAS (officially) the "MOST ANNOYING HUMAN ON THE PLANET" (and this is a planet that includes Michelle Bachmannnnn). What she did, however, was (technically) not a lie. She was merely justifying ANOTHER program she could be on. WHY this person, whose VOICE is enough to curdle milk (which she would then add to a recipe), is still on television, at all, is a mystery. Why no one has throttled her on television, surpasseth understanding
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