. . . . Or, "Does This Beer Make Me look Fat, Part II"
Historically, certain items are marketed in certain ways: Fooodstuffs are marketed on taste or healthiness; retail chains market themselves on value; automobiles on reliability, etc. Lately, however, the Solipsist has noted some odd marketing choices. We have already discussed the marketing of beer as the drink of choice for the calorie-conscious alcoholic (1/5/09). The other day, the Solipsist heard a radio advertisement for "bargain haircuts." And a local emporium proudly boasts that it sells "Keys for Less."
Now, anything that can help the Solipsist trim his key budget (currently at least $400 month) is welcome. But, really, are the vast majority of people struggling to pay for keys? And how does a keymaker actually go about undercutting the competition? Does he make his keys out of yams?
The point is, certain things should be marketed in certain ways; the corollary, certain marketing strategies just don't work for certain products. Herewith, a guide for appropriate and inappropriate marketing strategies. Please feel free to add your own:
MARKETING STRATEGY: Bargain-hunting
APPROPRIATE PRODUCTS: Retail outlets
INAPPROPRIATE PRODUCTS: Keys, Haircuts, Hookers
STRATEGY: The health-conscious consumer
APPROPRIATE: Foodstuffs, Restaurants, Gyms and Exercise Equipment
INAPPROPRIATE: Beer, Candy. . . . Well, hookers, too, come to think of it
STRATEGY: Entertainment value
APPROPRIATE: Films, TV shows, Toys
INAPPROPRIATE: Shoes, Carpet Cleaner, Butter
APPROPRIATE: Cars, The Service Industry, Batteries
INAPPROPRIATE: Peanut Butter, Cotton Swabs, Llamas
The Solipsist is available to serve as a consultant for any product/industry that would like to better position itself to compete in this harsh economic climate.