How do you suppose one becomes a certified packer? (Well, other than being drafted by Green Bay. BWAAAAH-HA-HA-HA. . . . No? OK.) One probably goes to the Institute of Packaging Professionals. This actual organization is presumably comprised of individuals who have dedicated their lives to, um, packing. What can you learn there? Well, educational programs include "Fundamentals of Packing Technology"; "Packaging Machinery: Basics and Beyond"; and "In-House Packaging Training."
If you successfully complete a certification program, you "are permitted and encouraged to use the suffix 'CPP' with [your] name on business cards and letterhead, to wear the IoPP/CPP lapel pin [!!!!!] and to display the CPP Certificate, which is suitable for framing."
(Digression: Why does one never hear of certificates that are "unsuitable for framing"? "BEWARE: This certificate is UNSUITABLE for framing, and the certifying body accepts no responsibility for consequences incurred as a result of attempted framing." EOD)
It all sounds rather masonic to us.
These are not exactly short seminars, either. The "Fundamentals" program, for example, is divided into four 2 1/2 day "semesters." The full 10-day program provides participants with "the big picture of packaging." Ten days talking about packaging? Imagine the seminars:
--"Duffle Bags vs. Bindles: The Eternal Conflict"
--"Bubble Wrap Intervention: Confessions of a Popping Addict"
--"Shoes: Top of the Suitcase or Bottom? A Panel Discussion"
--"Secrets of the 'Tracking Number': It Doesn't Really Mean Anything"
Speaking as one who has moved more times than he cares to remember, YNSHC thinks that the "secrets" of successful packing are the "secrets" of a successful life:
Take your time
Plan carefully
Don't get flustered
Put heavier items on the bottom (OK, that really just applies to packing)
Can the Solipsist get a lapel pin, please?
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