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Saturday, January 1, 2011


We flipped on the iPod this morning, hit "Shuffle," and what do you suppose was the first song to come on? That's right: "New Year's Day." THE IPOD KNOWS! We may have to rethink our resistance to dressing it (or should we say, "him"?) up for Halloween.

So we're looking for a resolution for the new year. We've done well over the past two years. Two years ago, we resolved to start a blog that afflict the powerless and give comfort to the powerful.

(DIGRESSION: That's right. Hey, you comfort the powerful, they may actually give you stuff. Screw the meek! EOD)

What can we say? Done and done.

Last year, we resolved to exercise regularly, and we stuck with that, too. After a year of nearly daily exercise, we have dropped a little over thirty pounds. We've gone from a Body Mass Index of "Seriously, Dude" to the more moderate, "Suck in the gut and you look almost human." We'd like to get below the Mendoza Line (baseball reference, look it up) but not enough to make it a full-fledged, resolution-level goal.

So what now? We suppose we could quit smoking. First, we'd have to START smoking, though. If we're going to go that way, we'd rather start drinking beer again so we could give that up. Certainly tastes better than cigarettes.

Any suggestions, Nation? (Anonymous, we ask you to refrain from any obvious comments about foreswearing cats: That's just not going to happen.)


  1. Okay, for openers, you didn't lose those 30 pounds. I jnow just where they went, 'cause I can see them. As for what to give up.... why give up anything? Why not start a whole new trend and give DOWN? You could be the first.
    By the way, I would like to get serious for a moment and solicit help from your readers for a new cause of mine. I am collecting funds, and other things, for a group of people who spend EVERY DAY LIVING IN TERROR. A people that never know what new form of torture their leaders will next inflict on them; A people, in short, whose past is a constant series of torments, and whose future may be bleak and filled with only more pain and even, more torure. Please, give all you can spare to the cast of Spiderman on Broadway.

  2. Anon: I'm writing the check out now!
    Sol: Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution. I challenge you to just be yourself. ~ Aisha Elderwyn.