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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Life-Saving Tips

In honor of Mother's Day, a couple of tips about how to stay alive.

First, if you ever find yourself held at gunpoint, the best way to avoid getting shot is to scream the following: "Go ahead! Do it! Do it!!!"

Second, if you're ever in an accident and rushed to the hospital, make sure to have someone follow you with a videocamera. Then, if you flatline, have the cameraperson do a slow close-up on the flatline monitor. After a short but sufficient pause, the monitor will suddenly start beeping again!

Thank you, movies! Where would we be without you!
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousMay 9, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    You forgot: If your cellar is flooded and your sump-pump dies, put on a Michael Bay movie. Nothing sucks more.

    ReplyDelete

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