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Friday, May 20, 2011

Newt's Testaments

If you've paid attention to the news this week, you've no doubt heard about the travails of former House speaker and current presidential "candidate" (adorable, really!) Newt Gingrich. If you haven't been paying attention--SHAME ON YOU! But to recap:

On Sunday, Gingrich went on "Meet the Press," and, responding to a question about entitlement spending, made some comments that seemed critical of Rep. Paul Ryan's (R-Easy Street) budget proposals, specifically his proposal to transform Medicare into a voucher-based program:




"I don't think right wing social engineering is any more desirable than left wing social engineering. I don't think imposing radical change from the right or the left is a very good way for a free society to operate. I think we need a national conversation to get to a better Medicare system with more choices for seniors."
As much as we generally disagree with Gingrich's policies, we were impressed by his willingness to make a reasonable statement of what we can only assume are his true principles. It's sad to say, but that takes courage in today's political environment. We commend Gingrich for displaying it.

This courageous stand lasted, maybe, through the credits of "Meet the Press." Unsurprisingly, conservative activists across the country expressed outrage at a candidate deviating from the party line. How can Gingrich expect to lead the Republican Party if he can't follow orders! Newt quickly backtracked, first claiming he was blindsided by an "attack" question (which was certainly not an attack). Later, though, he took a page from the playbook of Senator Jon Kyl (R-The Realm of Story).

Kyl, you may recall, ran into trouble about a month ago for claiming, in a speech on the Senate floor, that some 90% of Planned Parenthood's services involved abortion. When it was pointed out that abortion services actually comprise about 3% of Planned Parenthood's offerings, Kyl explained that his remarks "were not intended as a factual statement." Gingrich went Kyl one better: Not only were his words a "mistake," but


"I want to make sure every House Republican is protected from some kind of dishonest Democratic ad. So let me say on the record, any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood. Because I have said publicly those words were inaccurate and unfortunate and I'm prepared to stand up..."
In commenting on Newt's creative retraction, Jon Stewart said something to the effect of, it's difficult to engage in a reasonable conversation with someone when his opening gambit is, "If you quote me accurately and in proper context, you're a liar!"

As a teacher, the Solipsist has a different problem with Gingrich's rationalizations. What if our students "Gingrich" us? "Mr. Solipsist, when I wrote those incorrect answers and ungrammatical sentences, those words were inaccurate and unfortunate, so you cannot use what I said against me. I demand an 'A'!"

Ah, who are we kidding--like anybody is paying attention to anything Gingrich says, anyway.

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In case the world ends tomorrow, we thank our devoted Sloppists for sticking with us for the last three years.

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