Pasta Perfect

Yesterday, a New York hero achieved a historic milestone. While many knew the day would come, no one could predict that yesterday would be that day. We offer congratulations to this great representative of the Big Apple!

What? Oh, yeah, the Yankees' Derek Jeter got his 3,000th hit, too.

But what we are speaking of here is the Solipsist (obviously). Yesterday, we did something that we had never done before, and that some doubted we would ever achieve.

It all began innocently enough, an evening like any other: We graciously offered to prepare dinner, mainly because "dinner" was to be spaghetti and meat sauce, which is well within our skill set. Anyway, we started boiling the water, browned the beef, dumped in the sauce, stirred it all up, then poured the spaghetti into the pot. When everything was finished, we dished out the spaghetti, and realized what we had accomplished:

WE HAD PREPARED PRECISELY ENOUGH PASTA FOR THREE DISHES!

We know! Unprecedented! In twenty-plus years of occasional pasta-boiling, we had always made too little or, much more likely, far too much, spaghetti. The pasta always fakes us out: It looks so unassuming when it's all stiff and fistfulled, and then it expands into this kudzu-like mass of gut-stuffing carbohydrates! Sure, we put away the leftovers, but they never get eaten. Images of pasta-deprived, starving children in Appalachia haunt our dreams for weeks afterward.

Last night, though, we stared awestruck, like Balboa at the Pacific, at the empty colander and the perfectly apportioned dinners. We had done it! WOS could barely restrain her glee. The Solipsist had triumphed!