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Monday, September 17, 2012

Great Moments in Management

SOLIPSIST'S LACKEY: We need more of those sheets where people can reserve the group-study room.

SOLIPSIST: OK, give me a minute.

L: Well, this girl wants to reserve the room now.

S: Oh, OK, well just get her information, and we'll write it on the sheet when I print some out.

L: No, I mean, she's here, and she wants to reserve the room for right now.

S: For "now"?

L: Well, three o'clock.

S: . . . It's ten after three.

L: Yeah.

S: Well, she doesn't need to reserve it.  She should just go in and use it.

L: But there's somebody in there.

S: Oh. . . So. . . What does she want, exactly?

L: I guess she wants to reserve the room so that she can use it, and the people in there now have to leave.  (Pause.)  Yeah.

S: So, if I'm understanding correctly, she wants to reserve the room retroactively starting ten minutes ago, and have me go in and tell the people who are there now that the room was reserved before they got there?

L: I guess so.

S: I can't do that.

L: Why not?

S: Well, for one thing, I can't travel backwards in time.

L: You can't?

S: I know you're disappointed.

L: I am disappointed.

S: For another thing--

L: Can you travel forwards in time?

S: Can't everybody?

L: Oh yeah.

S: For another thing, I don't exactly think that would be the polite thing to do.

L: So. . .You want to explain this to her.

S: Not really.

L: You want me to explain this to her?

S: I want you to explain the fundamental concept of "reservation" to her.

L: I don't get paid enough!

S: Nobody does.

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