WOS: What is the big deal about St. Patrick's Day, anyway?
SOL: Well, he was the patron saint of Ireland. . . . I don't exactly know what the significance of the day is. I guess it's kind of like July 4th or Cinco de Mayo. Plus it's an excuse to drink a lot.
WOS: I guess. But a lot of Irish people I know are just really against the whole Catholic Church thing.
SOL: Hm. Well, St. Patrick also drove all the snakes out of Ireland.
WOS: Yeah, sure.
SOL: And all the tigers.
WOS: There are no tigers in Ireland.
SOL: Exactly! That was St. Patrick! He said, "OK, all you tigers! Get back to. . . uh. . . India?"
WOS: Of course.
SOL: And THAT's why there are no tigers in Ireland!
WOS: I see.
SOL: Tomorrow, I'll tell you the story of why lemurs love canteloupe!
WOS: Can't wait.