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Monday, September 1, 2014

Feud for Thought

The venerable game show "Family Feud" has aired more or less continuously since the late Victorian era and gone through more hosts than the Ebola virus (too soon?).  However, it is my sad duty to report that the show is officially out of ideas.  The Solipsist has come into possession of a trove of notes from the program's writing staff, and a brief survey reveals how far the show has fallen since its glory days.  Or day.  Just take a look at these survey questions:

"Name a letter of the alphabet."

"Name the average age at which an amateur golfer gets a knee replacement?"

"Name a people-food that my dog just loves."

Those were actually among the more "normal" examples.  Others included, "Name a number between one and five"--which, curiously, had seven answers--and "Name a place where you wouldn't expect to find scissors" (answers included, "A blender," "A bowl of lime sherbet," and "Galveston").

"Name a pre-Raphaelite painter."

"Name an article of clothing you wouldn't find cute if it were worn by a turtle."

"Name a flavor of mint chocolate chip ice cream."

"Name a means of poisoning someone that is undetectable when served in an omelet."

This last question drew the attention of the local authorities, and the writing staff has been temporarily suspended while the investigation continues.

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