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Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Couldn’t Happen to a Nicer Guy

Under the guise of a “legal fund,” the Former Guy fleeced his worshippers for some $250 million. These expenses were supposed to support efforts to overturn the 2020 election. 

I forget, how did that work out? Oh, yes, double impeachment. Good job, all around.

Anyway, I read today that friends and allies of Rudy Giuliani—

(DIGRESSION: And what the hell happened to Giuliani? I mean, seriously, the man should rot in hell, but, in time, if someone wants to write an opera about this era, they could do worse for a protagonist than Giuliani. Talk about a character arc! EOD)

—are in high dudgeon that Trump hasn’t quickly authorized the use of any of this money to help his former attorney with mounting legal fees, despite the fact that his legal woes all stem from work he did for Trump.

And to be clear, it doesn’t seem like any of the money has been spent on anything yet.

My question for Giuliani and his flock, though: Seriously, have you guys MET Donald Trump?!?

There’s a “Simpsons” episode where, for various reasons, a pig is launched into a long, majestic flight through the skies of Springfield. We cut to the offices of miserly plutocrat Montgomery Burns, who is gazing out the window and says to his flunkie, Smithers, “I’m going to donate a million dollars to charity... WHEN PIGS FLY!” They both laugh, and then the airborne pig sails past the window. Smithers asks, “So, will you be donating that money, Sir?” Burns says, “No, I’d still rather not.”

Trump makes Monty Burns look like Santa.

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