Speaking of movies, YNSHC has been struck lately by a recurring theme on the SciFi Network.
Saturday nights, SciFi promotes what it calls "The Most Dangerous Night on Television." By this they are referring to their 9:00 PM offering, generally a grade-B science-fiction/horror movie. In addition to the standard fare of aliubs, buntants, zombies, and other science-fictional/supernatural menaces, the movies often launch from a premise of "more-or-less scary things in places where they're not supposed to be":
Sci-Fi logo. . . .
Ominous voice-over: Tonight, a SciFi original movie. . . .
Cut to: Ext., aerial shot, zoom in on a bustling airport terminal
V.O.: It started out like any other vacation. . . .
Cut to: Int., airport terminal, a happy family walks down a busy corridor, carry-on luggage in hand, a young girl skips along, holding a teddy bear.
Young girl: I can't WAIT to get to Disneyland!
Cut to: A group of young, ridiculously attractive men and women with backpacks.
Young Man #1: Dude, this is going to be the best Spring Break ever!
Cut to: A dark storage area, light and shadows, a crate rocks violently back and forth.
V.O.: . . .but nothing could prepare them for what comes next!
Blackout. Sound of a crash and a roar.
Smash cut to a woman, running, looking back in terror, pursued by something monstrous. As the camera closes in on her, she screams.
Cut to: Int. Office of Airport Manager. Slade Pumpman, Airport Security Manager is screaming at a group of men in suits:
Pumpman: Damn it, Frank! There's a puma loose in the airport!
Rapid sequence of people running, soldiers shooting, an explosion!
SciFi logo again: Pumaport! Tonight at 9:00 on SciFi, the Most Dangerous Night on Television.
Of course, this genre had its apotheosis with "Snakes on a Plane," but SciFi must be commended for its commitment to the ideal. Actual titles include "Chupacabra: Dark Seas," in which the legendary goat-sucker of Puerto-Rican myth manages to stow away aboard a cruise ship, as well as the more self-explanatory, "Disaster Zone: Volcano in New York" and "Sharks in Venice."
This got the Solipsist thinking: The possibilities are endless!
"Octopus! Nightmare in Montana."
"Mollusks on a Hammock!"
"Cats on a Boat!"
"Raptors in Memphis!"
"Badgers 3: Desert Terror!"
And for our Jewish readers: "Tref! Cheese on a Hamburger!"
The Solipsist would like to invite his loyal readers to submit their own titles. Surely, the SciFi network would welcome the suggestions.