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Monday, March 30, 2009

Ice Cream Musings

The Solipsist has been catching some flak lately.  His father accused him of incipient conservatism (presumably because of his Kirsten Gillibrand post, although it may also be attributable to the Ann Coulter blow-up doll under the bed--perhaps we've said too much).  FOS complained that YNSHC's encomium to U2 left him "cross-eyed."  (Sure, but just try listening to HIM blather on about Jethro Tull or Han Solo at Star's End for an hour or two!)  So, in the spirit of lightening things up a bit, this week will be devoted to flights of fancy and whimsical observations (barring some TRULY blogworthy horror).  For starters, a few words on ice cream (hey, what's more whimsical than starting with dessert?):

If you're in a relationship, your ice-cream selections can't be too appealing.  If you get something like, "Unspeakably Hideous Death by Chocolate" (or its kin), you risk accusations of insensitivity and/or attempting to undermine the dietary resolve of a loved one.  Also, you don't want to get anything too tempting to the kids in the house because that would be bad for their tummies!  (And, y'know, then they'd eat all your ice cream!)  So you scan the freezer, constructing pro and con tables in your head, looking for that perfect flavor--the one that's appealing to you, but not too appealing to anyone else.  (The Solipsist has found Butterfinger infused flavors to be particularly efficacious for his purposes.) 

(Upon reading this passage, WOS commented that she thinks the Solipsist is talking about her--about ways to keep her from eating Solipsist's ice cream!  Nothing could be further from the truth, Dear Reader.  Still, she has promised that, in the middle of the night, she's going to sneak to the refrigerator, dump the ice cream down the sink, and then put the container back in the freezer, leaving a nasty surprise for YNSHC in the morning.)

Other thoughts occur in the ice-cream aisle:  Could there be anything more boring than "Triple Vanilla" (an actual flavor)!  Who would buy that?  Probably the kind of person who collects stamps.

Also, when did animal "tracks" become appropriate ice cream flavors?  Check out your grocer's freezer: "Moose Tracks," "Turtle Tracks," "Bear Tracks."  What's next?  Slug Trails?

Tomorrow: The Brassage!

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