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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Pueleve, Rismouse, Diereepr, Defacki. . .and PRINGLE?!?

Google is getting lazy.

Before we get to today's commentary, you may want to refresh your memory by glancing back at "Pueleve, Rismouse, Diereepr, Defacki" (The Solipsist, 1/9/09).  Done?  OK.

So what always impressed the Solipsist about Google's word verification system was how it would choose character combinations that LOOKED like words without actually BEING words.  It stimulated one's aspiring neologist (not as dirty as it sounds, sorry).

Excuse me, YNSHC just needs to pop off this lid (Ssssss-thwok!).  There.

Anyway, the prompts have occasionally been disappointing.   One recent prompt was "flues" (crunch), which, as any reader of Harry Potter can tell you, IS an actual word: the plural of "flue," a passage or duct for smoke in a chimney.  Even worse, just the other day, we were asked to type "Pringle."  (Crunch crunch. . . gulp!)

Pringle!  (Crunch.)  No (gulp), it's not an ACTUAL word, as opposed to "pingle" (an obsolete word for a small piece of enclosed ground) or "springle" (a "springe" (a snare for catching small game or the action associated therewith)) or even "tringle" (a narrow, straight molding).

(Crunchcrunchcrunchcrunchcrunch.)

(Digression: Your assignment: Write a sentence using all three of those words.  The best one will be featured in an upcoming installment of "The Solipsist."  End of digression.)

(Ack!  Cough-cough!  Haaaa-chhhump! Ah!. . . Crunch.)

But it's arguably WORSE than an actual word: It's a CORPOROWORD!  (Hey, that would be a good verification word!)  Has Google gone commercial?!?  (Gulp.)

Well, OK, that's a stupid question.  (Crunch.)  But whatever happened to "Don't be evil"?  (Crunch.)  Can it possibly be considered "good" to promote, however semiconsciously, potato chips?  (Crunch.)  Make that, "potato chips."  (Crunch.)  'Cause they're not ACTUALLY potato chips, y'know?  (Crunch.)  Pringles are, like, some kind of amalgamation of potato parts.  Pringles are to potato chips as McNuggets are to actual chicken breast (research assistance for that analogy provided by WOS).  Not the kind of thing. . . (crunch crunch) that mffrgoommrgle (gulp), excuse me, Google, should be encouraging its users (crrrrunnch). . . especially subliminally (gulp) to consume.

(Burp.)

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