A Solipsist Exclusive
DETROIT, MI--General Motors today introduced the Chevy Snark, the first mass-produced automobile to be powered entirely by sarcasm.
"We just got so sick and tired of listening to all these self-righteous Prius drivers going on and on and on and on about how they were saving the planet," sneered GM Chief Satirst Paul von Hoeven. "We figured if we could just somehow channel our feelings through a drive-train, we could save the planet and take all those models of civic virtue down a few pegs."
Von Hoeven accompanied the Solipsist on a test drive. In order to work, the Snark's engine must interface with the central nervous system of the driver and/or the passengers.
"Wow," we remarked, "this is amazing technology. Like something out of 'Star Trek.'"
"Yeah," remarked Von Hoeven, "it's just like 'Star Trek'! What an astute observation. Like nobody's ever made that comment before."
And we were off.
The Snark is not the first emotion-driven automobile. In the 1960's, the French developed a car that ran on existential despair. Unfortunately, no one could muster the will to activate it. When asked if General Motors was concerned about a similar fate for the Snark, a spokesman remarked, "Oh, yeah, 'cause Americans are just gonna stop being sarcastic any second now, Einstein."
The spokesman did admit, though, that pre-orders from Canada were unprecedentedly low.
Lol! Have you ordered yours yet?
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