(The scene: A major bullseye-themed big box store that we know we're supposed to boycott, but look at these prices! SOLIPSIST and WOS wheel their cart into the condiment aisle.)
SOL: Look, WOS (pulling a jar off the shelf), 'Laura Scudder's Peanut Butter.'
WOS (Mostly ignoring): Uh-huh.
(SOL starts giggling.)
WOS: What?
SOL: Y'know what goes really well with this? (More giggling) 'Richard Snelly's Apple Jelly'! (Unnerving cackle.)
WOS: Yeah. . . . That's. . .funny. . .?
SOL: And. . . (giggling repeatedly). . . and. . . 'Martha Flayo's Super Mayo'. . . . and. . .(gasping for breath). . . and. . . . 'Billy Fletchup's Orange Ke--'
WOS: What is wrong with you?!?
SOL: BWAAAA-HA-HA-HA!!!!
WOS: You're gonna get us banned from another supermarket, aren't you?
SOL: Hee-hee-hee-hee-heeeeee. . . .
WOS: Good lord!
1) I am boycotting Target in my MIND.
ReplyDelete2) Go to Winco. You'll fit in there!
Target? TARGET?!? Who said anything about Target?!? We reject that homophobic establishment and all the delicious, delicious Archer Farms products they sell there! And we don't know what Winco is.
ReplyDelete