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Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Nothing was really inspiring us today, so we checked out the ""Trending Now" section on Yahoo! High on the list--above Elizabeth Taylor and Japan--was the Aflac Duck. The insurance company needs to find a new spokesfowl--or, more specifically, they need to find a new voice-over artist (that should probably be "artist") for their familiar mascot. Longtime duckvoice Gilbert Gottfried was fired last week after making some insensitive jokes over Twitter about Japan.

Personally, we don't get it. According to a CNN report, one of the jokes went something like this: "I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I asked if there was a school in this neighborhood. She said, 'Not yet, but just wait.'" Insensitive? Well, yeah. Funny? Not especially. And we imagine Gottfried might have made even raunchier comments that CNN would not have aired. This, after all, is a man known for making jokes about prison rape.

Which is kind of our point: When Aflac hired Gilbert Gottfried, they knew what they were getting: A loud obnoxious comedian with a voice like a duck. If they wanted a spokesperson unlikely to provide embarrassing soundbites, they kind of went the wrong direction.

At any rate, if any members of Solipsist Nation are interested, Aflac is holding auditions around the country. We encourage you to try out. If you can squawk "AF-LAC!" and avoid insulting tsunami victims, you could have a lucrative second career.

(Personally, we think they should go a whole different direction and hire Ben Affleck. This would have the added advantage of potentially keeping him too busy to make movies.)

Aflac casting call

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