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Thursday, March 24, 2011

Threat-Level: Superannuated


Arizona had the right idea. Unfortunately, they were too late--much too late. And, for that matter, much too south.

The true threat arrived in our country early in the last century, and it came from the Great White North.

WE'VE BEEN WARNING YOU ABOUT CANADA FOR AGES, PEOPLE! MAYBE NOW SOMEONE WILL LISTEN!!!

Yes, people, the sleeper cell has awoken! And. . .oh, now it's taking a nap.

Well, while he's resting, we'll tell you about Leeland ("Osama") Davidson, 95, of Centralia, Washington. Seems Mullah Davidson, who served "his" country (America) in World War II, was actually born in Nova Scotia. His American parents neglected to inform the US government of Leeland's birth to ensure that he would be granted American citizenship. Because Leeland's parents are no longer around (did we mention that he's 95?), and because Iowa--where his "parents" were "born"--didn't start keeping birth records until 1880, Herr Davidson cannot authenticate his citizenship.

Sounds a little too convenient to us. Isn't this the same dodge Obama used?

Davidson discovered he wasn't actually an American citizen when he applied for an enhanced driver's license so that he could visit "friends" (read: fellow jihadists) in Canada. He has since been warned not to pursue his case, as drawing attention to his status could jeopardize the social security benefits he is currently siphoning away from real Americans and could, indeed, lead to deportation. Leeland, however, is determined to become a full-fledged American before he dies. Talk about committing to a bit!

(DIGRESSION: Davidson's big mistake was applying for the license in his home state of Washington, where a 95-year-old applying for a driver's license probably raised some red flags. If he had just gone to Florida, nobody would have batted an eye, and he could have driven his car bomb right up to the early-bird buffet at Stuckey's. EOD)

All we know is, if elderly Candians can evade homeland security, what chance do we have against the rest of Al Qaeda?
Solipsistography
Image from KATU.com

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