Thanks for stopping by! If you like what you read, tell your friends! If you don't like what you read, tell your enemies! Either way, please post a comment, even if it's just to tell us how much we suck! (We're really needy!) You can even follow us @JasonBerner! Or don't! See if we care!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Your Attention Please

"Medicines to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are in such short supply that hundreds of patients complain daily to the Food and Drug Administration that they are unable to find a pharmacy with enough pills to fill their prescriptions."
                             "F.D.A. Finds Short Supply of Attention Deficit Drugs"

Ladies and. . .uh, what? Oh! Sorry.  Where was I?

OK.  Ladies and gentlemen of the Attention Deficit Disorder Sufferers of. . .what IS that smudge on my note card?  It's funny.  It looks kind of like one of those clouds?  You know, one of those clouds that looks like something?  It looks like a cloud that looks like a banana. . . .So, I guess what I'm saying is it looks like a banana.  Yeah.

OK, sorry, here we go:

Ladies and gentlemen of the Attention Deficit Disorder Sufferers of America, thank you for. . . .  Uh. . . .Hel-LO?  Could I have your attention, please?


OK, yeah, that IS kind of funny, but, seriously!  Could you all just kind of, you know, look this way. . . yes, at me. . . great. . . .

OK.  Now, you all know why we're here today.  Drug Enforcement Administration policies and corporate greed have created a wholly unnecessary shortage of the ADHD medications that are needed by people like you and me. . . .Should that be 'you and I'?  That doesn't sound right.  But neither does 'you and me'. . . .I should just say 'us,' shouldn't I?  Or shouldn't me?  Ha!


OK, yes, so the DEA wants to make sure that people don't abuse ADHD drugs, so they restrict the amount of drugs that a company can produce.  And now a lot of those companies, since they can only produce a certain number of drugs, are producing MORE of their brand name drugs, and LESS of their generics, so even when we CAN get drugs, we sometimes have to pay ten times as much as we would normally pay because we have to buy the brand name instead of the generics and that humming is driving me crazy what the hell IS that?  The air conditioning?  Can we turn it off?  We can't turn it off?  Fine. . . . Uh. . . .

OK, so. . ..Hey, where's everybody going? . . . .No, I wasn't finished!  We haven't decided what we're going to DO yet, have we?  Exactly!  If we want to effect change, we have to organize!  Just like those Occupy people.  We need to occupy something.  I suggest the DEA.  It's one building, so there's less of a chance for us to get lost.  All in favor?. . . All in favor?. . . .I'M CALLING FOR A VOTE HERE, PEOPLE, COULD YOU ALL JUST LISTEN FOR A MOMENT?

Thank you!  Now, all in favor? . . . Oh, for God's sake!  Of occupying the DEA!  Yes, that's what we're voting on!  TO GET THEM TO LOOSEN UP THEIR POLICIES, THAT'S WHY!

OK.  So we'll meet at the DEA offices tomorrow at 9:00 AM.  I want to thank all the people that have stayed for this entire meeting.  Thanks, Larry.

No comments:

Post a Comment