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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine Miscellany

It's been a busy couple of days.  Sorry about all the random bits of miscellany I've subjected you to.  But here's another:

A Possible Beginning for a Love Story:

Fred and Amanda seemed perfect for each other.  Both from California, both possessing astrological signs, both carbon-based life-forms.  On paper, they were a perfect match.  But Fred could think of so few venues where the entire date could take place on paper.  There was, of course, Nelson's Magical Puppy Xperience, but Fred didn't know how Amanda would feel about frolicking and exploring her "inner puppy"--especially as it might involve public urination.  Perhaps he could arrange a traditional dinner date, but make sure that he and Amanda remained on paper at all times.  He would need a lot of paper: a large-ish piece of oak tab, at least.  Thinking of oak tab took Fred back to the fourth grade, where his teacher, Mrs. Lentil, had a penchant for assigning large-scale projects that had to be presented on oak tab paper.  Fred had failed his project on "Spices of the World," when the school janitor, Bob, stole all the spice samples Fred had carefully attached to a 4' x 4' slab of oak tab.  They later found Bob in the tool shed, attempting to smoke cumin, but by then it was too late for Fred's grade.  He had been phobic about spices ever since.

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