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Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Another Day at Solipsist Central

(Watching "Game of Thrones."  Onscreen, Stannis Baratheon is discussing his strategy for an attack on Kings' Landing.  He stands at a table and pushes around carved wooden figures--ships, soldiers, horses--as he explains his upcoming military maneuvers.)

SOLIPSIST: That's what I need. . . .

WOS: (Not really paying attention to the screen) Mm?

SOL: Yeah. . . .I need me some little wooden guys. . . Like, ships and army guys and. . .and. . .and horsies and cannons. . . I need that.  (Silence.)  Are you going to get me that?

WOS: What?

SOL: Wooden horsie guys!  And boats and stuff!

WOS: What, you mean, like a chess set. . . ?

SOL: NO! Like Stannis has!  So I can spread the stuff out on the table here and plan my conquests!

WOS: Wha-?

SOL: What do you mean 'What?'?!?  You expect me to conduct my raping and pillaging expeditions without the proper wooden guys to help me execute my plans, and--

WOS: I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS NOOOOOOOWWWW!!!

SOL: Whoa. . . .

WOS: ARGH!

SOL: Is everything OK, hon?  You seem sort of angry and depressed.

WOS: (Whimper)

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