Doctor: Well, yes, according to these numbers, you are suffering from acute renal failure.
Patient: Oh my God!
Doctor: Oh, it's not that bad.
Patient: Renal failure?!?
Doctor: Yes, but. . . I mean, it's not good, but it's not like you need surgery or dialysis.
Patient: But "Renal failure"--
Doctor: Acute renal failure.
Patient: EXACTLY!!!
Doctor: Well, all that means is that this number here (pointing at a chart) has gone up a lot and very suddenly.
Patient: Oh my God!
Doctor: Yes, but that could be due to all kinds of things. . . . Most commonly, it just means you're dehydrated, and you just need to retest in three days. Your number will probably go right back to normal as long as you drink a lot of fluids.
(Pause.)
Patient: You couldn't have opened with that?
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