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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

America! You're Slipping!

Yesterday was the biggest online-shopping day in the history of ever!  And we missed it!

In China, November 11 is "Singles' Day" (all those sad and lonely '1's)--as far as I can tell, a sort of anti-Valentine's Day, whereon lonelyhearts across the world's most populous nation cry in their Tsing Tao and lament their fate--which, come to think of it, sounds pretty much like Valentine's Day, so ignore my earlier comment.  Anyway, Chinese internet retailers have seized upon 11/11 as their very own "Black Friday," a day to lure e-shoppers with ridiculous e-bargains, and this year's Singles' Day was the most profitable yet, with $5.75 billion worth of orders placed, "a record for a single day anywhere in the world, surpassing by two and a half times the total for American retailers last year on so-called Cyber Monday."

So, America, while you were sitting around, barbecuing and honoring veterans--

--that is to say: barbecuing.  And honoring veterans.

--while you were doing that, America, communist China was kicking your ass in that most "socialistic" of activities: Binge-shopping!

Those veterans fought for nothing!

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