Does This Beer Make Me Look Fat?

A new ad campaign for some light beer (your not-so-humble correspondent is reluctant to specify for fear of naming the wrong beer and thereby jeopardizing a potential revenue stream) emphasizes the fact that this particular brand is only 64 calories. The conceit is that one can drink 64 calories worth of this beer or 64 calories worth of some other drink, a margarita say. But whereas one could enjoy a full 12 thirst-quenching ounces of our hero's brew, one would have to settle for imbibing roughly a thimble's worth of the alternative.

Now, light beers have been around for quite some time, and certainly caloric intake is a consideration among those who drink them--or, indeed, among those deciding between a light beer and one that will pass straight from one's lips to take up permanent residence around one's belly and thighs. But YNSHC is surprised to discover that apparently calories are THE consideration for the tippling connoisseur. That when one is trying to decide between the Mike's Hard Lemonade and the Cosmopolitan and something--anything--that will generate a mild buzz, the primary selling point of the final choice is how it will make one's butt look. Are there really that many health-conscious drinkers out there? And shouldn't anyone really worried about weight just have a nice glass of carrot juice?

Why not just grind up a couple of Dexatrim and mix them into your Guinness? Far tastier and probably more scale-friendly, too.