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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I See Dead People . . . .Ka-Ching!

The Solipsist has bad news for dead people: You still have to pay your bills.

According to today's New York Times, "Dead people are the newest frontier in debt collecting, and one of the healthiest parts of the industry."  Call centers are staffed by an especially brazen class of teleghouls, phoning nexts-of-kin and asking them to pony up for their deceased beloved's outstanding bills.

Coffin?  $2,400.00
Funeral service? $1,000.00
Dinnertime call about Aunt Sally's MasterCard?  Priceless.

Mind you, in most cases, the decedent's relatives have no legal obligation to pay these debts, at least not out of their own pocket (creditors can, however, go after an estate).  Still, a surprising number of people decide to go ahead and settle the debt.

And the Solipsist says, "It's about time!"

For far too long, people have been shirking their obligations because of "being dead."  Just last week, YNSHC went to his local tannery to drop off some work.  After standing at the counter for what must have been fifteen minutes, YNSHC realized that the lights were out and nobody was standing behind the counter (which, when he thought about it, explained why he had to break the glass in the door to get into the shop).  He went back out and noticed the sign in the window that explained the shop would be closed until further notice, due to the "death" of the proprietor!

So Irv's dead!  Great!  Now, what's yours' truly supposed to do with this batch of capybara pelts?!?

The Solipsist is sick and tired of people's cavalier attitudes towards their obligations.  Many's the time YNSHC has been "dead" (albeit metaphorically) yet manages to drag himself to the keyboard because HE HAS AN OBLIGATION.  Right now, in fact, this blogger would like nothing more than to drag himself to the nearest coffin--which is surprisingly near--and fold his hands over his chest, and sleep the sleep of the overopinionated.   But he doesn't.  And other more-literally dead people need to suck it up, and meet their obligations like men!  (Or, y'know, like women, as the case may be.)  After all, what excuse do they have NOT to?  It's not like they're busy doing anything else.  They're dead!

Now, if only we could find a way to get Citigroup to pay back its debts.

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