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Saturday, January 30, 2010

Of Mice and Zombies

Coming soon to a game store near you: "Dante's 'Inferno,'" the video game. This is not a joke. A tie-in edition of the medieval classic features the game's scythe-wielding avatar on the cover. Virgil better watch his punk-ass.
In what seems an unnecessary bit of curmudgeonry (curmudgeonitude?), Rob Bricken of ToplessRobot.com decries the tie-in edition's cover as "a gross misrepresentation of the original work." He continues, "They're not interested in getting kids into literature--they're not looking to do anything except sell some books to dumb kids" ("Abandon All Poetry, But Enter Hell with an Attitude").
Mr. Bricken is right, of course. But should we really complain about kids being suckered into picking up Dante?
More to the point, we wonder what's next for Electronic Arts, the makers of the Inferno video game?
"Quixote! The Curse of La Mancha": In this steampunk-style first-person shooter, the evil Windmill Corporation is extending its baleful influence throughout medieval Spain. Don Alonso "El Falcon" Quijano is called out of retirement to defend the realm. By killing zombies.
"The Albertine Conspiracy: A Remembrance of Things Past": The year is 2546. The invalid Marcel is given "the madeleine," an experimental regenerative medication. The drug not only rejuvenates his body, but also stimulates a flood of repressed memories, leading him on a quest to right the wrongs of his past. And kill zombies.
"Jean-Paul Sartre's 'Being and Nothingness'": Hell is other people. . . especially when they're zombies!
(While the above is meant as satire, WOS points out that SOMEBODY will probably think these are good ideas. We're fine with that. We just ask for credit. . . and 10% of gross earnings.)
(Image from Amazon.com)

1 comment:

  1. You said a lot of clever things up there, the most important of which I think was "gross earnings".