Eventful Sunday: We went to Target to buy a breadbox. No more rampaging bread at Solipsist HQ. This should also put an end to all those tedious "20 Questions" arguments: "A wombat is NOT bigger than a breadbox! See?!?"
Breadboxes: They're not just for the Amish anymore.
Speaking of which, we've been thinking about converting to Amish. We like to wear black. And we think we could make one of those mustacheless-beards like good. There's something appealing about the thought of trading in the Slopmobile for a horse-drawn carriage and blogging from a simple Pennsylvania farmhouse--you can get a wireless connection there, right? WOS isn't crazy about the idea, but, of course, if we convert, then we figure she becomes our property, so who cares what she thinks.
From the sentences you thought you'd never hear file:
WOS: "I'm going to burn you with my cigarette if you don't shut up about converting to Amish!"
She's going to look adorable in one of those little white bonnets.
I have a breadbox but I don't use it for bread. I use it to put all those medications in that I spend a lot of BREAD on.
ReplyDeleteBeing Amish, or Morman or actually ANY organized religion that I can think of at the moment, appeals to the male species because it validates their superiority in all ways. Females, on the other hand, need no validation. We just KNOW. Lol! Enjoyed your "Weness" as usual.
Not sure if Amish is right for you, friend. Y'see they value handi-ness (e.g., making furniture, raising barns) and eschew too much book-learning. Your gifts, I'm afraid, are in opposite proportion to those they value. On the other hand, I think that "rumspringe" thing they let their teens go off and do -- basically leaving the community to party and consider whether they truly want to be Amish -- seems like fun. Of course, if you can beat the crystal meth habit you might develop.
ReplyDeleteBest stay a lapsed Hebrew, friend.
FOS