Give Us Your Huddled Masses Yearning to Breathe FABULOUS!

Say this for Americans: We don't do things by half measures. Now that "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" has been repealed, and gay servicemembers no longer have to hide their sexual orientation to serve in the military, the government has apparently decided that no one should hide their sexuality. In fact, hiding one's sexuality can get you into trouble, especially if you're applying for asylum in the US. Many asylum-seekers are running into trouble because they are not "gay enough" to qualify for asylum in the eyes of immigration authorites.

This is the U S of A, god damnit! We like our steaks rare, our beer cold, and our gays flaming! You want to stay in this country? Show us the gay!

(Too subtle)

At the same time, though, don't take things too far. When Romulo Castro applied for asylum, he considered going as his drag-queen persona, Fidelia Castro. Wisely, he decided against this. It's gilding the lily. And let's face it: Anyone can dress up as a member of the opposite sex. It hardly proves anything. Hell, the Solipsist himself once donned a black mini-dress, red wig, and high heels and marched in the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade. That doesn't make us gay!

It doesn't right?

(This guy's trying too hard)

Our advice to potential asylum seekers: Just be yourself--with a little extra gay. And when the immigration man asks just how gay you are, lick your lips, give a big wink, and say, "Honey, how gay do you want me to be?"

(Just right)

Solipsistography

"Gays Seeking Asylum in US Encounter a New Hurdle"

Images from: TheTomCruise.com, Examiner.com, and Entertainment Weekly.