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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Thursday Trendwatch

Starting off our trendwatch is everyone's favorite royal in-law PIPA (10).  Yes, Kate Middleton's sister is in the crosshairs of public opinion again: Everyone's really pissed off at her apparently: "Stop PIPA!"  "Down with PIPA!"  What's really strange about the anti-PIPA movement is that many of these people also seem to want Mexicans to stop eating soup.  Many of the "Stop PIPA" protestors are surrounded by people waving signs saying "Stop SOPA!" and the like.  Does Pippa Middleton like to eat a lot of soup?  In Spain?

What's that?


Never mind.

Eddie Brill, a comedian and longtime booker for DAVID LETTERMAN (9), received a demotion for saying that female comedians will "act like men" in order to get gigs.  Boy, that is. . .   That is. . .   Um. . .  Wait, why exactly is that a problem?  I mean, generalizing about any group--especially a group held in such reverence as female stand-up comedians--can often lead to problems, but I'm not clear on what precisely is so bad about suggesting that these performers "act like men."

Lest you think I am minimizing Brill's affront by decontextualizing, here is his entire quote: "There are a lot less female comics who are authentic. I see a lot of female comics who, to please an audience, will act like men." Since he doesn't even make clear what constitutes "man-like" behavior, this hardly seems like a major insult.  And considering the unapologetic raunchiness of female comics like Lisa Lampanelli, Sarah Silverman, and Kathy Griffin, one must at least entertain the possibility that Brill was not only NOT being insulting; he was probably also right.

A new definition of the condition may lead to a major change in the prevalence of AUTISM DIAGNOSES (8)Revisions in diagnostic criteria proposed by the American Psychiatric Association could significantly reduce the number of people who receive a diagnosis of autism.  Texas Governor Rick Perry would presumably still qualify.

KHLOE KARDASHIAN (7) has declared that she is NOT exploring fertility treatments, so there is still hope that the Kardashians will not breed.  If and when Kardashian DOES have a baby, though, she will not be able to record the blessed event with Kodak equipment, as the venerable company has filed for CHAPTER 11 (6) bankruptcy protection.  Yes, we at the Solipsist were just as surprised as you are to hear that Kodak still existed.

JESSICA CAPSHAW (5) of "Grey's Anatomy" is pregnant.  Take THAT Khloe Kardashian!

Coming in next is HOPE SOLO (4)This is AWESOME!  I didn't know Han and Leia had a baby!  That must happen in "Episode 7," which must mean that THERE IS GOING TO BE AN EPISODE SEVEN!!!  Oh, Ican'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twaitIcan'twait!  I'm gonna find out where it's going to be playing and I am getting on line to-NIGHT!  I--

What's that?



Never mind.

JENNIFER GARNER (3) is pregnant.  Take THAT, Khloe Kardashian!

And rounding out the trendwatch, San Francisco Giants' ace TIM LINCECUM (2) has requested $21.5 million, but he may have to settle for a mere $17 million is the Giants prevail in arbitration; and country music star MERLE HAGGARD (1) has cancelled some tour dates due to health problems.

Take THAT, Khloe Kardashian!


  1. Until the definition of Autism (which, yes, has grown way too broad) includes such phrases as: "irretreivably stupid", "mean spirited beyond any bounds of sanity", and "not worth the air he breathes", Rick Perry cannot be considered, even in jest, "autistic".