10. HORMONE THERAPY
Why it's trending: Well, when has hormone therapy been anything other than trendy? All the Melky's are doing it! (Too soon?) Specifically, though, researchers have found that a short course of hormone therapy poses little risk for menopausal women and may, indeed, alleviate some of the more troubling symptoms of "the change," including hot flashes, increased sweating, and husband slaughter.
9. CHRIS MATTHEWS HOST
Why it's trending: After watching President Obama's lackluster debate performance against Mitt Romney, the host of "Hardball" suffered a not-so-mini meltdown, which--as much as I agree with his overall points--was kind of hilarious to watch. Anyway, Matthews is still mad. When last seen, he was running down the shoulder of I-95 in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, screaming "47%! 47%!"
An interesting sidenote: "The Chris Matthews Host" was the original name of "The Dave Matthews Band." Dave and the guys ultimately decided that didn't make much sense. True story.
8. BREAST CANCER AWARENESS
Why it's trending: October, is "Breast Cancer Awareness Month." In the past, women-folk have observed BCAM by posting enigmatic Facebook status updates about the colors of their bras or the preferred resting places of their purses. While this may or may not have raised awareness of breast cancer, it DID make me aware of which of my female Facebook friends like to "go commando," so it wasn't a total loss.
7. HOMS, SYRIA
Why It's Trending: Homs, a rebel-held Syrian town on the Turkish border, has come under massive aerial attack by government forces. Turkey has returned cross-border fire. Syrian human rights groups, as well as international humanitarian organizations, have condemned the government's heavy-handed and indiscriminate attacks against a largely defenseless population. As developments unfold, the world watches with trepidation.
Meanwhile, in Homs, North Dakota, Zeke overslept, so he didn't open the bait and tackle shop until 6:15. "Might as well've not opened at all," said Big Merle, who had come by Zeke's at its normal 5:00 AM opening time to stock up on nightcrawlers, "'tain't gwineta be any fishes awake now." As developments unfold, the world watches with trepidation.
(Because Big Merle moved to North Dakota from Maine! OK, Anonymous?!?)
6. RUBEM ROBIERB
Why He's Trending: He's the fiance of Good Morning America weatherman Sam (not short for "Samantha") Champion (not short for "Championship Mud Wrestling Live from Reno"). Anyway, they're getting married. I hope they'll be happy, but I can't say I approve. Not because of the whole gay marriage thing; I just have a major problem with names that look like typos.
5. SAMSUNG GALAXY CAMERA
Why It's Trending: I guess it's a camera that's linked directly to the interwebs, thus enabling people to share pictures of their genitalia even faster and easier. As developments unfold, the world watches with trepidation.
4. STEVE JOBS TRIBUTE LAPTOPS
Why It's Trending: As the one-year anniversary of his death approaches, Steve Jobs is being memorialized by Uncover, a laser-cutting business. The company is engraving Jobs' image on three laptop computers that will be auctioned off for charity. While highly stylish, the computers' pancreases are extremely unreliable. (Too soon? It's been a year!)
3. COLLEGE FOOTBALL
Why It's Trending: Frankly, I'm surprised any time college football is NOT trending on a Sunday, given that the new rankings are released after Saturday's games. Making today extra special, though, is the fact that, in the last week, no major college programs have been fined, sanctioned, or otherwise penalized for financial improprieties or child molestation.
2. EARLY VOTING
Why It's Trending: An Ohio law that would have ended in-person early voting on the Friday before Election Day has been overturned by a federal appeals court. This is seen as a victory for President Obama, who received a substantial portion of the early votes in Ohio in 2008. While the Romney campaign sees this as a setback, spokesmen expressed confidence that voter suppression efforts in other states would prove more successful.
And the NUMBER-ONE TRENDIEST TOPIC AT THIS MOMENT ON THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM IS. . .
Why It's Trending: You know, I've always suspected that NASCAR fans were a separate race. If not a whole different species! Good to know.