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Friday, November 2, 2012

Yeah, I Know: Too Soon

In a bit of storm-induced clarity, officials have cancelled the. . .let's say 986th. . . running of the New York City Marathon, which was to have occured this Sunday.  No doubt Mayor Bloomberg and advisers envisioned the Verrazano Bridge starting line--thousands of carbo-loaded ectomorphs fleeing the Sandy-devastated Isle of Staten, escorted by police cars and camera trucks--and considered the optics less than, well, optimal.

Honestly, I'm disappointed.  Not only could the race have infused much-needed cash into the city's economy, but the timing would have been perfect!  Think about it.  With clocks set back an hour early Sunday morning, the runners would be well-rested.  And consider the TV ratings!

I know, I know: Nobody watches the New York City Marathon--or any marathon, for that matter, unless it has something like "Twilight Zone" in front of it.  (You know I'm right.)  But this year?  With runners navigating flooded streets, downed powerlines, and decimated neighborhoods filled with angry New Yorkers? We're not talking about a bunch of people on a two-plus hour jog.  We're talking a potential grand guignol worthy of Stephen King!  We're talking Olympics meets X-Games meets "The Walking Dead"!

And you want hometown drama?  This could be the year that an American reclaims the marathon title! Sure, East Africans have mastered the art of long-distance running.  But throw in an obstacle course of waterlogged tree carcasses cannibalistic East Villagers, and a 70% chance of crocodiles, and I would say the playing field has been leveled.

Mayor Bloomberg, there's still time.  I hope you will reconsider.

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