Today's title is a palindrome--or, y'know, it would be if we didn't refer to ourselves as "we."
As COS pointed out, today is National Palindrome Day. A palindrome, of course, is a word spelled the same forwards and backwards (e.g., civic, radar, wow). Today's date--01/02/2010--works much the same way, at least in the U.S. In third world backwaters like Germany, today is 02/01/2010, which is just stupid. THEY won't celebrate NPD until February 1. Losers.
**************************************************
Yesteday's comments contained the following from "Anonymous":
"A solipsist would not bother creating a site when there is no internet on which to construct it and no keyboard on which to type non-existent letters into meaningless words that will not exist. You, sir or madam, are a pretender to the throne."
Pretender, huh? Big words from someone claiming to be "Anonymous". . . WHOSE COMMENT APPEARS THREE SPACES BELOW SOMEONE NAMED "ANONYMOUS." Still, such calumny must not go unaddressed.
A "Solipsist," as a quick glance at the "Solipsistic Glossary" will confirm, is "one who believes that nothing exists but oneself." From our humble perch in the blogosphere, we glance out upon a world that often seems unmanageable, chaotic, and downright unpleasant. We choose to exert control over that tiny part of the world that falls within our purview: This space. In doing so, we create a reality--a world--Solipsist Nation, if you will.
Does anything exist outside this world? Who knows? Perhaps you, sir or madam, are merely the manifestation of our own need to create a yang to our yin, a right to our left, a Bert to our Ernie. We merely point out that THIS world did not exist until we created it. If that makes us not-a-Solipsist, so be it. It does, however, make us a GOD!
Go in peace.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
New Year's (Higher) Resolution
The results are in. As you can see, the "Change the Formats" had it.
This layout is called "Jellyfish." We like the brightness of it--reminds us somewhat of the format favored by Mental Floss magazine, one of our favorite periodicals. We also like that the blog "surface" now stretches from side to side--expansive thoughts like ours deserve an exapansive screen space don't you think?
Most importantly, we hope this will satisfy our more crotchety followers who complained of incipient eyestrain brought on by our previous font size.
We will leave further comment to any design mavens among you, who should feel free to deconstruct any subsonscious meanings or ferret out sociocultural significance to our new layout.
Have a self-involved new year, everyone!
This layout is called "Jellyfish." We like the brightness of it--reminds us somewhat of the format favored by Mental Floss magazine, one of our favorite periodicals. We also like that the blog "surface" now stretches from side to side--expansive thoughts like ours deserve an exapansive screen space don't you think?
Most importantly, we hope this will satisfy our more crotchety followers who complained of incipient eyestrain brought on by our previous font size.
We will leave further comment to any design mavens among you, who should feel free to deconstruct any subsonscious meanings or ferret out sociocultural significance to our new layout.
Have a self-involved new year, everyone!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Perspective
First, before we go any further, let us assure the Nation that Rush Limbaugh is apparently OK. He was rushed to a Honolulu hospital after suffering chest pains. Maybe the proximity of President Obama was too much for him. At any rate, we can all pray that New Year's Eve will not become an official National Day of Mourning for our country's brightest light.
In case you can't tell, we're being sarcastic.
But this is not what's on our mind today. Rather, we feel the time has come to put in our two cents on the whole Northwest Airlines near-bombing. In case you've slept through the last week--or in case you're reading this at some point in the (eerie voice) fuuuuuu-tuuuuure--we are speaking of the attempted bombing of an airliner on Christmas as it was approaching the Detroit airport--as if Detroit didn't have enough problems. Quick action by passengers and crew prevented the would-be suicide bomber from detonating his chemical cocktail, and the plane landed safely.
Since then, we have been subjected to a steady stream of back-and-forth finger-pointing. Republicans pounced on Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano after her infelicitously phrased comment on a Sunday morning talk show about how the security system "worked." She subsequently clarified that she meant the response system worked AFTER the attempt was made, but it was too late to avoid the inevitable political backlash. Other Republicans chastised President Obama for taking two full days to make a public statement about the near attack.
Democrats have not refrained from partisan bickering either. They've pointed out that the failing system was developed under the auspices of George W. Bush and that the Transportation Security Administration lacks a Director because Republicans are holding up the confirmation of President Obama's nominee (Obaminee?).
Let's put things in perspective.
The bomber, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, came to the attention of the United States in November because his father, a prominent Nigerian banker, was worried about his son's suspicious behavior. Subsequently, he was placed on a watch list of approximately 550,000 people who have "possible ties" to terrorism. Had his case been reviewed more thoroughly, he might have been placed on a list of people who require additional screening before being allowed on airplanes (14,000 people) or on the official "no-fly" list (4,000 people).
Now, we can fault the system all we want, but the fact remains that the system worked pretty much as it was supposed to. After all, we don't hear about how many of those 550,000--or even 14,000--people have been investigated and either (a) found to pose no threat or (b) thwarted from attempting some terrorist attack. Even more frightening is the thought that the only reason Abdulmutallab was on the broader list is that his father became concerned enough to contact the United States. Considering that the potential bomber had made no specific or overt threats, it's a minor miracle that he even made the list of 550,000. (As one security official said, "You had a young man who was becoming increasingly pious and was turning his back on his family's wealthy lifestyle. That alone makes him neither St. Francis nor a deadeyed killer." ["Spy Agencies Failed to Collate Clues on Terror"])
During the Bush years, the administration often made statements to the effect that numerous terrorist attacks had been foiled and hundreds of lives saved due to the diligence of the nation's security personnel. The administration was then accused of fearmongering. Now, far be it from the Solipsist to say anything positive about the Bush years, but the fact remains that after 9/11 there were no major terrorist attacks on American soil--and we find it difficult to believe that Al-Qaeda just decided to pack it in and wait for Obama.
Terrorism and its prevention are not partisan issues. Neither Republicans nor Democrats want to see Americans--or anybody else--killed by suicide bombers. When an attack happens, it will not be the fault of the Bush administration or the Obama administration: It will be the fault of both. Or neither.
The sad truth is that we will very likely see another terrorist attack on US soil. No matter how strong the prevention measures are, they won't be perfect. And even if a system works, say, 549,999 times out of 550,000 (99.998%), that one failure could be catastrophic. All we can do--all we should do--is learn the lessons as they are taught and try to do better next time.
In case you can't tell, we're being sarcastic.
But this is not what's on our mind today. Rather, we feel the time has come to put in our two cents on the whole Northwest Airlines near-bombing. In case you've slept through the last week--or in case you're reading this at some point in the (eerie voice) fuuuuuu-tuuuuure--we are speaking of the attempted bombing of an airliner on Christmas as it was approaching the Detroit airport--as if Detroit didn't have enough problems. Quick action by passengers and crew prevented the would-be suicide bomber from detonating his chemical cocktail, and the plane landed safely.
Since then, we have been subjected to a steady stream of back-and-forth finger-pointing. Republicans pounced on Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano after her infelicitously phrased comment on a Sunday morning talk show about how the security system "worked." She subsequently clarified that she meant the response system worked AFTER the attempt was made, but it was too late to avoid the inevitable political backlash. Other Republicans chastised President Obama for taking two full days to make a public statement about the near attack.
Democrats have not refrained from partisan bickering either. They've pointed out that the failing system was developed under the auspices of George W. Bush and that the Transportation Security Administration lacks a Director because Republicans are holding up the confirmation of President Obama's nominee (Obaminee?).
Let's put things in perspective.
The bomber, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, came to the attention of the United States in November because his father, a prominent Nigerian banker, was worried about his son's suspicious behavior. Subsequently, he was placed on a watch list of approximately 550,000 people who have "possible ties" to terrorism. Had his case been reviewed more thoroughly, he might have been placed on a list of people who require additional screening before being allowed on airplanes (14,000 people) or on the official "no-fly" list (4,000 people).
Now, we can fault the system all we want, but the fact remains that the system worked pretty much as it was supposed to. After all, we don't hear about how many of those 550,000--or even 14,000--people have been investigated and either (a) found to pose no threat or (b) thwarted from attempting some terrorist attack. Even more frightening is the thought that the only reason Abdulmutallab was on the broader list is that his father became concerned enough to contact the United States. Considering that the potential bomber had made no specific or overt threats, it's a minor miracle that he even made the list of 550,000. (As one security official said, "You had a young man who was becoming increasingly pious and was turning his back on his family's wealthy lifestyle. That alone makes him neither St. Francis nor a deadeyed killer." ["Spy Agencies Failed to Collate Clues on Terror"])
During the Bush years, the administration often made statements to the effect that numerous terrorist attacks had been foiled and hundreds of lives saved due to the diligence of the nation's security personnel. The administration was then accused of fearmongering. Now, far be it from the Solipsist to say anything positive about the Bush years, but the fact remains that after 9/11 there were no major terrorist attacks on American soil--and we find it difficult to believe that Al-Qaeda just decided to pack it in and wait for Obama.
Terrorism and its prevention are not partisan issues. Neither Republicans nor Democrats want to see Americans--or anybody else--killed by suicide bombers. When an attack happens, it will not be the fault of the Bush administration or the Obama administration: It will be the fault of both. Or neither.
The sad truth is that we will very likely see another terrorist attack on US soil. No matter how strong the prevention measures are, they won't be perfect. And even if a system works, say, 549,999 times out of 550,000 (99.998%), that one failure could be catastrophic. All we can do--all we should do--is learn the lessons as they are taught and try to do better next time.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
There We Were, Just A-Walkin' Down the Street
Yes, we're talking about Facebook again.
Funny story, true story. Facebook has this function--we think the kids call it an "app"--that lets you analyze your "Status Updates." These are the often zen-like one-liners people post to let other people know what they're thinking about--"What's on your mind," in the Facebook argot. So this particular app, "Topwords," analyzes one's status statements (statusments?) for the year and reveals the most commonly used words.
Now, at this point, we would like to mention that the Solipsist--in the interest of trying to be interesting--has a semi-regular practice for composing statusments: He picks a line from whatever the last song he hears on the radio happens to be. As he most commonly listens to a classic/eclectic rock station, he can usually find something postworthy.
At any rate, one day, this song happened to be "Tom's Diner"--that Suzanne Vega song where she just kind of rambles rhythmically about sitting in a coffee shop. Another day, it was "Walk on the Wild Side." As a result, our "Topword" for statusments?
"Doo."
Funny story, true story. Facebook has this function--we think the kids call it an "app"--that lets you analyze your "Status Updates." These are the often zen-like one-liners people post to let other people know what they're thinking about--"What's on your mind," in the Facebook argot. So this particular app, "Topwords," analyzes one's status statements (statusments?) for the year and reveals the most commonly used words.
Now, at this point, we would like to mention that the Solipsist--in the interest of trying to be interesting--has a semi-regular practice for composing statusments: He picks a line from whatever the last song he hears on the radio happens to be. As he most commonly listens to a classic/eclectic rock station, he can usually find something postworthy.
At any rate, one day, this song happened to be "Tom's Diner"--that Suzanne Vega song where she just kind of rambles rhythmically about sitting in a coffee shop. Another day, it was "Walk on the Wild Side." As a result, our "Topword" for statusments?
"Doo."
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been
"Blogging is the democratization of narcissism."
So wrote the Solipsist in his first posting, one year ago today. We were so young. We even referred to ourselves with a lower-case 'S'! Now, one first-person-plural-filled year later, we are an institution. Fourteen followers on Blogger! Eighteen more on Facebook! And comments, comments, comments galore!
(All right, look, Nation, we're still not getting as many comments on a day-to-day basis as Honeypiehorse, so we want you to get on that. Not that it's a competition. At least, not until we take the lead.)
So what has this year brought? Well, the economy is rebounding, a groundswell of democracy is forming in Iran, and the New York Jets control their own playoff destiny. Much as we are loath to toot our own horn, BEEP BEEP.
You're welcome.
In the year(s) ahead, we vow to continue our commentary on the day's events to help Solipsist Nation make sense of this crazy wonderland we call the world. We'll strive to bring you the important stories that you may otherwise miss, like this tidbit from upstate New York, where a retired stripper is teaching army wives the basics of burlesque ("To Keep Home Fires Burning, Grab That Boa"). Thank God! Because our soldiers are no doubt so focused on the mission that their wives must do everything they can to stimulate their husbands' amorous attentions!
Where would you all be without us?
Here's to Year Two!
So wrote the Solipsist in his first posting, one year ago today. We were so young. We even referred to ourselves with a lower-case 'S'! Now, one first-person-plural-filled year later, we are an institution. Fourteen followers on Blogger! Eighteen more on Facebook! And comments, comments, comments galore!
(All right, look, Nation, we're still not getting as many comments on a day-to-day basis as Honeypiehorse, so we want you to get on that. Not that it's a competition. At least, not until we take the lead.)
So what has this year brought? Well, the economy is rebounding, a groundswell of democracy is forming in Iran, and the New York Jets control their own playoff destiny. Much as we are loath to toot our own horn, BEEP BEEP.
You're welcome.
In the year(s) ahead, we vow to continue our commentary on the day's events to help Solipsist Nation make sense of this crazy wonderland we call the world. We'll strive to bring you the important stories that you may otherwise miss, like this tidbit from upstate New York, where a retired stripper is teaching army wives the basics of burlesque ("To Keep Home Fires Burning, Grab That Boa"). Thank God! Because our soldiers are no doubt so focused on the mission that their wives must do everything they can to stimulate their husbands' amorous attentions!
Where would you all be without us?
Here's to Year Two!
Monday, December 28, 2009
A Brief Post, in Which We Attempt to Get the Goat of ACOS
A few weeks ago, for reasons that are by now painfully apparent, Tiger Woods announced he was taking an "indefinite leave of absence" from golf.
Over the weekend, Urban Meyer announced that he was resigning as head coach of the University of Florida football program for health reasons. He subsequently rescinded the resignation, stating that he was simply going to take an "indefinite leave of absence" from his coaching duties.
Is there something about the air in Florida that makes its sports figures prone to needing a little extra nappy time?
That would go a long way towards explaining the Dolphins, Panthers, and Lightning.
Over the weekend, Urban Meyer announced that he was resigning as head coach of the University of Florida football program for health reasons. He subsequently rescinded the resignation, stating that he was simply going to take an "indefinite leave of absence" from his coaching duties.
Is there something about the air in Florida that makes its sports figures prone to needing a little extra nappy time?
That would go a long way towards explaining the Dolphins, Panthers, and Lightning.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
All About the Benjamins
The most interesting article in today's paper dealt with "terminal sedation," basically putting end-stage patients to sleep so they can just slip painlessly away ("Hard Choice for a Comfortable Death: Sedation"). Derided by critics as "slow euthanasia," terminal sedation straddles the ethical line between "do no harm" and "stop needless suffering."
Speaking as someone who very often has no particular desire to get out of bed, we can see the appeal. Still, this is a rather glum topic, and we so want to be upbeat and perky as the year draws to a close.
One thing has been bothering us lately: a seemingly inoccuous commercial for (we think) Direct TV--or is it DirecTV? Or DirectTV? Damn corporate cutesiness! We were hoping to find a clip or image to paste here, but to no avail--maybe it's more disturbing than we think! Too disturbing for YouTube? Now THAT's saying something!
At any rate, the gist of the commercial is that you can save money by switching to DirecTV--or maybe it's Comcast, it doesn't matter. To illustrate this savings, we are shown a man welcoming people to his house, ostensibly to watch something on DirecTV. Perhaps it's the big game or the season premiere of "Dancing with the Biggest Loser"--again, it doesn't matter.
You can see we're temporizing here--scared to reveal the Horror. OK. Deep breath.
What happens is, as the guests enter the house, their heads are morphed into Benjamin Franklin's face as it appears on a $100 bill.
See?
You don't see, do you? You're probably thinking, "Well, sure, Benjamin Franklin may have been a syphilitic womanizer with a thing for kites and turkeys, but, really Solipsist, that's hardly anything to be scared of. And the man invented bifocals! Get a grip! It's not like they're turning into Alexander Hamilton!"
Here's the thing, though: The FIRST guest to enter the house is a guy. No problem. But the next three guests are shapely women whose visages we barely see before they are transfranklified! We then watch as curvy hips sashay through the door--curvy hips and ample bosoms crowned with the visage of Poor Richard himself!
We think we have become sexually attracted to Benjamin Franklin.
2010 is looking bleak.
Speaking as someone who very often has no particular desire to get out of bed, we can see the appeal. Still, this is a rather glum topic, and we so want to be upbeat and perky as the year draws to a close.
One thing has been bothering us lately: a seemingly inoccuous commercial for (we think) Direct TV--or is it DirecTV? Or DirectTV? Damn corporate cutesiness! We were hoping to find a clip or image to paste here, but to no avail--maybe it's more disturbing than we think! Too disturbing for YouTube? Now THAT's saying something!
At any rate, the gist of the commercial is that you can save money by switching to DirecTV--or maybe it's Comcast, it doesn't matter. To illustrate this savings, we are shown a man welcoming people to his house, ostensibly to watch something on DirecTV. Perhaps it's the big game or the season premiere of "Dancing with the Biggest Loser"--again, it doesn't matter.
You can see we're temporizing here--scared to reveal the Horror. OK. Deep breath.
What happens is, as the guests enter the house, their heads are morphed into Benjamin Franklin's face as it appears on a $100 bill.
See?
You don't see, do you? You're probably thinking, "Well, sure, Benjamin Franklin may have been a syphilitic womanizer with a thing for kites and turkeys, but, really Solipsist, that's hardly anything to be scared of. And the man invented bifocals! Get a grip! It's not like they're turning into Alexander Hamilton!"
Here's the thing, though: The FIRST guest to enter the house is a guy. No problem. But the next three guests are shapely women whose visages we barely see before they are transfranklified! We then watch as curvy hips sashay through the door--curvy hips and ample bosoms crowned with the visage of Poor Richard himself!
We think we have become sexually attracted to Benjamin Franklin.
2010 is looking bleak.
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