Try a Little Less Tenderness

"The sole American manufacturer of an anesthetic widely used in lethal injections said Friday that it would no longer produce the drug, a move likely to delay more executions and force states to adopt new drug combinations."
"States Face Shortage of Key Lethal Injection Drug"

There's something ironic about the lengths to which the authorities go to conduct "humane" executions. As this article reports, corrections departments in several states face the prospect of running out of sodium thiopental, a component of the three-drug "cocktail" usually administered to end the lives of condemned inmates. The only American company that produces the drug, Hospira, Inc., had planned to produce the drug at an Italian factory; Italian authorities, though, won't allow the company to export the drug if it is to be used for lethal injections. Similar export problems have arisen with other European governments, which are generally opposed to capital punishment.

Whatever your feelings about the death penalty, don't you find something absurd in this conundrum? Heightening the absurdity is the fact that sodium thiopental is the pain-killing component of the lethal injection: After the thiopental, the next two drugs administered are a muscle relaxant and a drug to stop the heart. In other words, states may stop carrying out executions because, without sodium thiopental, the prisoner--presumably, a base and depraved example of humanity--might feel excessive pain before dying.

If the point of the death penalty is punishment--or, indeed, deterrence--then what's the problem if the convicted killer feels pain before dying? If, on the other hand, inflicting a potentially painful death is incompatible with societal values, then isn't any form of judicial execution unacceptable? Honestly, we wonder if, even with sodium thiopental, the execution is truly "painless." How do we know?

We cannot help but think that the surest way to carry out a "painless" execution would be to fire a bullet point blank into the condemned's brain. Of course, the visuals of that would be all wrong. The authorities need to maintain the illusion that what they are doing somehow makes them better than the people they condemn. They aren't.

The City That Never Sleeps and Rarely Wins

An article in today's paper reminded us that, for all its established status as a world capitol, New York is actually something of an underachiever when it comes to sports. Once you take the Yankees out of the equation--and we fervently wish to take the Yankees out of the equation--the success of New York sports franchises looks positively Miami-esque.

Well, OK, maybe not THAT bad, but close.

Consider that the New York Knicks have won only two championships in something like 75 years. The football Giants have been generally competitive over the last twenty years, but before that they were pretty mediocre. And speaking of mediocrity, our beloved New York Mets for most of their fifty year history have ASPIRED to mediocrity--1969 and 1986 notwithstanding.

Of course, this weekend, the Jets have a chance to move one step closer to another notch on the New York chapionship belt. We wish them well, but we are still depressed by the thoughts provoked by this discussion of New York shortcomings. Is it POSSIBLE that New Yorkers have an overinflated opinion of their own worth?

Nah.

Solipsistography
"New York: A Champ When It Comes to Losing"

Remind Us Again Why ANYONE Would Admit to Being a Republican

In their first major act since assuming control of the House of Representatives, the Republican Party proved conclusively that they are a party of mean-spirited cowards. Mean-spirited because their first priority was to repeal healthcare reform that is meant--in however flawed a manner--to provide access to healthcare to some 30 million people who now lack such access. Cowards because they know this act of "principle" is nothing more than a symbolic gesture: They know the Democratic-controlled Senate will not allow the repeal to advance (and of course President Obama would veto it even if it did).

They have the courage of their convictions as long as those convictions are without consequence.

We also have had quite enough of Republican claims that healthcare reform is a "job killer." This, as far as we can tell, is premised on the bill's requirement that any business with more than 50 employees must provide its workers with health insurance or face stiff penalties. While we understand why employers would dislike this requirement, we don't buy the idea that this will discourage hiring. In theory, a company with 49 employees could refrain from hiring that budget-busting 50th; but isn't there something wrong with that theory? In practice, managers do cost-benefit analyses to see if the productivity gains of an additional worker offset the cost of providing health insurance. If the cost is too great, then the worker will not be hired.

Are Republicans under the impression that companies currently hire superfluous workers simply because they do not have to pay for health insurance--workers who will have to be fired when "Obamacare" kicks in?

Let's give the last word to Representative John Lewis, Georgia Democrat and civil rights icon:

“It is unbelievable that with so many people out of work and millions of people uninsured, the first act of this new Congress is to take health care away from people who just got coverage.”

Solipsistography:
"House Votes for Repeal of Health Law in Symbolic Act"

Well Begun and All Done: The Imperfectionists

The book: The Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman

Opening line: "Lloyd shoves off the bedcovers and hurries to the front door in white underwear and black socks."

Closing line: "Now it was gone."

Sometimes, at the end of a book, something happens--something you weren't expecting to happen. When this something happens, you are taken aback. Occasionally, you become frustrated, particularly when you suspect that, had you been paying closer attention, you would have--not seen the event coming necessarily--but you would have a deeper appreciation for what you've just read.

Such a happening happens at the end of The Imperfectionists. This is a comic novel, but, at the end, a sad event--a small tragedy in its own right--occurs, and the reader is left to wonder whether he or she could have seen it coming--perhaps should have seen it coming. And we further suspect that, were we to go back and reread the novel, we would see the foreshadowing, the minor events, which, added together, make the ending inevitable.

Perhaps we're giving too much credit to the author, Tom Rachman, because we want to believe he didn't just throw in some gratuitous bit of pathos to lend his novel "weight." Because we enjoyed this book, and, despite the fact that it is primarily played for laughs, feel that it had plenty of "weight" already.

The Imperfectionists tells the story of an English-language newspaper in Italy that is on the verge of bankruptcy. Each chapter focuses on and is told from the point of view of a different member of the newspaper's community. Also, each chapter includes a sort of "epilogue," which provides the paper's history. In a way, the chapters are completely self-contained short stories, but they weave together to provide a blackly comic picture of an institution in decline.

Every reader will have his/her own favorite characters. Perhaps for obvious reasons we found ourselves attracted to Herman Cohen, the punctilious corrections editor, whose battle-cry is "Credibilty!" and who frequently updates the newspaper's "Bible," an ever-growing compendium of rules and offenses:

"literally: This word should be deleted. All too often, actions described as 'literally' did not happen at all. As in, 'He literally jumped out of his skin.' No, he did not. Though if he literally had, I'd suggest raising the element and proposing the piece for page one. Inserting 'literally' willy-nilly reinforces the notion that breathless nitwits lurk within this newsroom. Eliminate on sight--the usage, not the nitwits. The nitwits are to be captured and placed in the cages I have set up in the subbasement."

Rachman also has a talent for understated irony. At the end of the novel, one of the characters decides to abandon the newspaper business for "an industry that would never betray her. So she settled on international finance and found a post at the Milan offices of Lehman Brothers."

The book is a breezy read with a cast of likably imperfect characters. When you get to the end, you may be frustrated by the seemingly random bit of darkness that intrudes. On the bright side, though, the thought of going back over the novel to look for clues is not especially onerous.

Jobs Flees Apple Amid Growing Unrest--A Solipsist Exclusive

SAN FRANCISCO--Citing "health" issues, Steve Jobs, President-for-Life of Appleland, fled corporate headquarters yesterday. His destination is unclear, although he is rumored to have been granted asylum in neighboring Googlevania. Jobs' prime-minister, Timothy Cook, has assumed control of the government, in what outraged protesters are calling an unconstitutional power grab.

Jobs has struggled to project an air of business-as-usual despite increasing protests about his authoritarian style and seeming indifference to the plight of his subjects. The anti-Jobs movement began late last year, after Woody McFarland of Columbus, Ohio, set himself on fire outside a local Apple store. McFarland was driven to his desperate act by frustration with the poor iPhone service he received from AT&T. Since then, dissident mobs have marched regularly on Apple headquarters, wearing "What Would Woody Want" t-shirts and frequently burning iPhones in effigy and themselves in not-effigy.

In an attempt to pacify protesters, Jobs announced that Apple would begin offering iPhone service on Verizon. While the announcement was welcomed, spokesmen for the Rotten Apple Party claimed the action was "too little too late."

"Jobs and his cronies have held us hostage for too long," said opposition leader Bill "No Relation" Gates. "Yes, Apple products are cool. But why do we have to buy an iPhone and an iPad? Shouldn't we at least get a discount? And why doesn't the iPad have a camera?"

RAP is demanding that Cook hold free and fair elections within the next six months. "We will continue to set ourselves on fire until our demands are met."

Analysts speculate that, if its customers continue to self-immolate, Appleland can survive for two more years at most. The United Nations will debate sending in peacekeepers at a special emergency session later this week.

Solipsistography:

"Jobs Takes Sick Leave at Apple Again, Stirring Questions"

So, This Is It, We're All Going to Die

California has survived many disasters: the San Francisco earthquake, the Loma Prieta quake, mudslides too numerous to mention, droughts, Med-fly invasions, budget crises, and Schwarzenegger. Now comes news of another existential threat bearing down on the Left Coast: Superstorms.

Scientists fear that the state may be due for a massive winter storm that could flood a quarter of the state's homes, cost 300-400 billion dollars, and ultimately cause more damage than the most powerful of earthquakes. Scientific models suggest that the storm could last for forty days and inundate the Golden State with more than ten feet (yes, feet!) of water.

The Solipsist has begun pairing off the cats and disguising them as other animals so as to ensure them spots on the Ark.

Solipsistography:
"Scientists Warn California Could Be Struck by Winter 'Superstorm'"

Pole to Pole

If you haven't made plans for next Christmas/New Year's, we have a suggestion: Antarctica!

This December marks the 100th anniversary of Roald Amundsen's arrival at the South Pole, and adventure toursist are shelling out thousands of dollars to be part of the festivities. $40,500 will get you a seat on a Polar Explorers plane to the Pole; if you want a more "authentic" reproduction of Amundsen's journey, you can pay $57,500 and get dropped off a degree or two farther away, so you can ski the last several miles. This option is particularly popular among that subset of sportsmen who like to get out of a cab 500 feet from the end of the New York City Marathon.

(DIGRESSION: Polar Explorers may have started a trend: Southwest Airlines announced a special deal on flights to Los Angeles; for an extra $150, you get dropped off in San Diego. EOD)

Granted that the entire world has been mapped, and there aren't too many places people can travel for a bit of adventure, but there's something morbid about gleeful yuppies with far too much disposable income trooping off to this harshest of terrestrial locales. Still, we can't help but feel that British explorer Robert Falcon Scott, who arrived at the South Pole shortly after Amundsen, and who died on his way back from, would feel these folks were somehow cheating.

Solipsistography:

"Tourists Mimic Polar Pioneers, Except with Planes and Blogs"