News to Bemuse

Perhaps we're mistaken--it's been a while--but we seem to remember our parents telling us that saving money was a good thing. Virtuous, even. Don't live beyond your means, pay off your bills in full on time, and sock a little bit away for a rainy day. Sounds familiar, right?

It's bewildering, then, to hear economists and other authority figures deriding economic stimulus measures because they encouraged savings ("New Consensus Sees Stimulus Package as Worthy Step"): According to conservative economist Martin Feldstein, the stimulus package that President Obama and Congress passed earlier this year was in principle a good idea but one that didn't work as well as it could have because "Temporary tax cuts and one-time transfers to seniors were largely saved and didn't stimulate spending."

And that's a conservative economist; you know, "conservative". . . against pointless spending, blah blah blah. (And not for nothing, but wasn't it excessive spending that got us into this mess in the first place?)

Look, we get it. We understand the basic economics underlying Feldstein's and others' concerns: Money needs to circulate through the economy in order to stimulate demand; increased consumer demand stimulates increased manufacturing and production; increased production calls for companies to increase hiring, which puts more money into the pockets of more people; newly employed people go out and buy cars and refrigerators and XBoxes; the "virtuous cycle" continues, and the economy starts humming again. But as someone who has essentially been unable to "save" anything for the last several years, the Solipsist is still bemused at the inevitably conflicting signals.

We see why economics has been called the "dismal science": A "science" that essentially tells people to ignore their own higher impulses--thrift, responsibility, humility--sounds pretty dismal to us.

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BONUS COVERAGE:

From "U.S. Fears Iraqis Will Not Keep Up Rebuilt Projects":

American officials are concerned that all the new infrastructure projects built in Iraq will fall apart once (or before) the US leaves:

"The [relief and reconstruction] projects run the gamut--from a cutting-edge, $270 million water treatment plant in Nasiriya that works at a fraction of its intended capacity because it is too sophisticated for Iraqi workers to operate, to a farmers' market that farmers cannot decide how to share. . . ."

"Too sophisticated for Iraqi workers"? Farmers who "cannot decide how to share"? Sorry, did we miss the day in class when they explained that Iraq was a nation of Kindergartners? Because we do not believe that the US needs to stay in Iraq because the local population is a bunch of mental and emotional incompetents: They're not! Projects too sophisticated? Then get sophisticated. Learn! And let the US get the hell out of there.

(Digression: We know there are other issues--corruption and security chief among them. Those need to be dealt with. But lack of sophistication and an inability to learn should not be--are not--a reasonable obstacle. EOD)

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Latest sign that the apocalypse is upon us:

"Tips for the Admissions Test . . . to Kindergarten"

We have nothing to add.

Requiem for a University

We feel we should say something about the ongoing budgetary crisis in California and its effect on the state's higher-education system. We're not self-interestedly kvetching about the community colleges; indeed, we're doing comparatively well: no layoffs so far, and booming applications. OK, we can't actually add any classes to put these new students into, but that's a minor technicality. We choose to feel warm and fuzzy when we see students lined up outside the door trying to add our basic writing classes at the start of the semester.

No, we're talking about what's going on in the University of California (UC). It may be hard to remember with all the recent turmoil, but the UC is a "crown-jewel" of public higher education. As recently as 2004, Berkeley (the flagship college) was named the number 2 research university IN THE WORLD (Harvard was ranked number one). Berkeley faculty have won 21 Nobel Prizes--and that's just one college in the ten-school UC system. Now, however, the system is in major trouble.

The UC regents voted yesterday to raise fees 32%. This will raise total costs for in-state students to over $10,000. Sure, it's still a "bargain" if you compare it to private colleges that may cost over $50,000 a year--until you remember that this is a PUBLIC system.

Reasonable people can disagree as to whether higher education should be free. But once you've established a public system, it's somewhat ludicrous to put it beyond the reach of the people for whom it was designed: What's the point of a public education system if great swaths of the public can't access it?

Maybe we're just depressed. The days are shorter and getting colder (it never gets REALLY cold in the Bay Area--just nippy enough to chill the soul). And everywhere we turn we hear ever more dismal news about the economy. People are losing jobs. People are losing homes. Even people with relatively stable jobs (hello!) feel deep unease and struggle to make ends meet. And now, the University of California, one of the great institutions is blocking students, bleeding jobs, and losing faculty to vulture colleges only to eager to pick upon the UC carcass.

Yes, we know, they're not quite dead yet, and the system probably will recover, but many, many people are going to suffer in the meantime.

Observation and Comment (A Brief Post)

Observation:

You know it's time to do laundry when you're down to the novelty underwear. If you're slipping into Christmas-themed "Simpsons" boxers in mid-November, you really need to do a wash.

No reason.

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Comment:

Sarah Palin is upset at Newsweek. As you've probably heard, the newsweekly placed Palin on the cover, using a photograph that originally appeared in Runners World magazine (Caribou Barbie is a devotee of the tachyambulatory arts). As she commented on her Facebook page, "The out of context Newsweek approach is sexist and oh-so-expected by now. If anyone can learn anything from it: It shows why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. . . . The media will do anything to draw attention."

(Digression: In the spirit of non-judgmentalism, we won't even take her to task for her incorrect colon usage. EOD)

If you haven't seen the offending cover, here it is:

Sexist? What's she so upset about? Check out those gams!

Not for nothing, but, if the whole politics thing doesn't work out, Palin's got a bright future as a JCPenney catalog model.

Jihad Diary

"Thomson, Ill.--Once federal officials said they might move terrorism suspects from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to a nearly empty prison here, residents of this faded rural village began debating what they should fear most--the suspects or the downward spiral of the economy here. . . . Elmer Monshower, 61, [said], 'So long as the terrorists leave our duck stands alone and our deer stands alone, we're tickled to have them--everyone needs jobs.'" ("Town Divided Over Terror Suspects")

From the journal of [REDACTED] (Translated from the Arabic.)

November 21, 2009:

Allah be praised! I have received word that I am to be released from this place of infinite torment. The word came down today that my brothers and I are to be transferred to a detention center on the mainland of the Great Satan! There, inshallah, we will wreak great havoc and mayhem! I pray only to be worthy of the opportunity that has been presented me.

November 28, 2009:

I arrived, blindfolded, at my new place of confinement. I believe we are in the very belly of the Great Satan, in a place called 'Illinois.' Everything is going according to plan. It will be a matter of days before my brothers and I can effect our escape.

December 9, 2009:

Tonight is the night! We escape at midnight. We have resolved to target the first major symbol of American imperialism that we see upon our liberation! Allahu Akhbar!

December 10, 2009:

A minor setback. The Americans seem to have removed all major symbols of American imperialism. Unless cows count?

I am told they do not.

We shall set out for the nearest town, where we will plan our next move after disappearing into the local population.

December 11, 2009:

Another minor setback. It has proven more difficult than we anticipated to blend into the local population. Thomson has very few Muslims and even fewer Arabic speakers. To be precise, it has no Arabic speakers. We did see one red-suited fellow who had the beard of a believer, but the name he called himself--Santa Claus--sounds Jewish. One of my brothers speaks some English and convinced the local population that we are Australian. We have secured lodgings but have not yet been able to locate a source of halal food: To be safe, we have eaten only of a local delicacy referred to as a "corn dog." We have been assured these contain neither beef nor dog. Tomorrow, we will find a target for our war against the Great Satan.

December 12, 2009:

I am forced to conclude that Thomson, Illinois, contains as many symbols of American imperialism as Pyongyang. There is nothing here! I grow depressed.

December 16, 2009:

For the last three days, I have not left our lodgings. I despair for my holy mission. I find myself with no energy. I stay in, eating an American delicacy known as "cookie dough ice cream," and I find this comforting. I have been watching much American television. I must say I find Ellen Degeneres quite charming: She would make a lovely wife.

December 17, 2009:

Allah be praised! Things are looking up! Having run out of cookie dough ice cream, I roused myself from my stupor and went down to the local market. There, I heard an elderly infidel speak lovingly of the town's "duck stands." He went on and on and on, the way Mullah Rafik goes on about olives. It is apparent these duck stands are at the heart of all the local residents hold dear. I have found our target!

Now I just need to find out what a duck stand is.

December 19, 2009:

As near as I can figure, a duck stand is a place from which people hunt ducks. Why this is of such totemic importance to Thomson residents is beyond me. The ways of Allah are mysterious. My brothers and I destroy the duck stand tonight!

December 20, 2009:

Brother [REDACTED] prepared a powerful explosive out of tea bags and duct tape. He needn't have bothered. When we reached the duck stand, we found a simple wooden structure, on which people presumably sit while waiting for ducks. Destroying it was child's play! It is early morning now. We settle back and wait to hear the howls of the infidel when he sees what the servants of Allah have wrought.

December 20, 2009 [later]:

Still no howls.

December 20, 2009 [later]:

Seriously, what's taking so long?

December 21, 2009:

I am chagrined. As the day passed with no howls of lamentation, I walked amongst the infidels to ascertain what had happened. Nobody was talking about the duck stand! I assumed they were traumatized. After all, after 9/11, very few people spoke of the attacks, right?

I couldn't resist the urge to visit the site of our holy triumph, so I walked out to the pond. There, in front of my eyes, what did I see? A NEW duck stand! Far from being traumatized, the residents of Thomson had simply retrieved some pieces of wood and rebuilt what we had destroyed! Worse still, they seemed unfazed by the destruction, perhaps chalking it up not to terrorism but to simple natural causes. Brothers, we must face facts: The residents of Thomson cannot be intimidated; what we destroy, they shall rebuild. We face a hopeless challenge.

Maybe the prison will take us back?

The Great Eggo Shortage of '09

Y'know all those survivalist types preparing for the end of the world, building bunkers in their backyards, stockpiling weapons, hoarding everything from bottled water to gasoline? We always used to roll our eyes at such paranoid packrattery. We used to laugh.

We are not laughing anymore.

Folks, the famine is upon us, and it's dripping with syrup.

Or, more precisely, it's NOT dripping with syrup. That's the problem. There's a rapidly diminishing supply of things for syrup to drip from. If you haven't heard the news, you may want to sit down for this (and why are you reading this standing up, anyway?).

America is out of Eggo's.

Yes, folks, the iconic waffle-based breakfast treat is temporarily unavailable. And "temporarily" may be quite a while. Due to flood damage at Kellogg's Atlanta bakery ("Eggo Central"), the waffles may be unavailable in some areas until mid-2010! Not to worry, though, according to a statement from Kellogg's: "Eggo is working around the clock to bring everyone's favorite waffles back to store shelves as quickly as possible."

(Digression: Consider the ramifications of that sentence. This means that, while you sleep soundly--if waffle-deprived--some poor schmuck is toiling to jumpstart the production of Eggos. EOD.)

In the meantime, we suggest careful rationing of your Eggo supply. Sunday brunch may be a little less bright for the next few months. Sacrifices will be necessary. Perhaps each of us will only receive a certain number of squares instead of a whole waffle. Still, if we all work together as a society, we can prevent the otherwise inevitable descent into barbarity.

We're all in this together!

Now, leggo our Eggo, or we'll kill you!

Here's to Your Health V

If you've ever taken Economics 101, regardless of how much you remember, you probably recall your teacher spending a lot of time talking about "margins": Marginal cost is the cost a firm incurs by producing one additional unit of a product; marginal revenue is the additional revenue earned for one additional unit. Through the application of a complicated formula that the Solipsist doesn't quite remember, classical economics proves that the price at which a firm maximizes marginal profit is the point where the marginal cost and marginal revenue "curves" intersect.

In the real world, there seems something counterintuitive about this: One would assume that a firm would maximize its profits by charging the highest price it can reasonably get away with; again, though, this is not the case. (For an illustration of how this works, click here.)

We thought of this today when we read "Drug Makers Raise Prices in Face of Health Care Reform." With the prospect of drug prices being reined in if health care reform passes, the pharmaceutical industry has raised prices by about 9%, which "will add more than $10 billion to the nation's drug bill." So while the pharmaceutical industry has agreed to cuts of approximately $80 billion over ten years, the recent price increases will negate those cuts--indeed, the industry may end up pocketing more money.

But that's capitalism for you. To survive, a company has an obligation to make money. And the marginal-cost curve gets tricky when you start talking about pharmaceuticals. After all, critics of the industry will claim that a pill costs pennies to produce--which is true, to an extent. To be precise, though, it is the SECOND pill that costs pennies to produce; the first one costs millions of dollars. And as for marginal revenue--well, just what is each additional pill worth to a consumer?

All of which is to say that drugs--and healthcare in general--represent another Economics 101 phenomenon: The market failure. All of classical economics assumes a perfect market, but such an animal doesn't exist in the real world. Things like externalities, imperfect knowledge, asymmetrical knowledge, etc., keep popping up. We may not begrudge entrepreneurs their right to make a profit, but when their profit is earned at the expense of sick people, something must be done. What is striking about this case is the egregiousness of the pharmaceutical companies' behavior. And what is sad is that they'll probably get away with it.

The Devil Wears a Bowtie

Rep. Earl ("Manson") Blumenauer (D-Oregon) has an op-ed in today's Times: "My Near Death Panel Experience." Interesting reading.

"Chainsaw" Blumenauer is the Congressman most directly responsible for "Death Panels"--those bureaucratic entities that, if Comrade Obama has his way, will send Grandma to the gas chamber once she's outlived her usefulness to society. In today's article, "Poison Dart" Blumenauer tries to squirm out of the condemnation he so richly deserves by pointing out--get this--the facts:

"[When] I was working on the health care bill, I included language directing Medicare to cover a voluntary discussion with a doctor once every five years about living wills, power of attorney and end-of-life treatment preferences."

"Voluntary"?!? Right! Everyone knows that "voluntary" is just left-wing code for "mandatory"! Stalin used to organize "voluntary" field trips to Siberia! We're on to you, Earl "The Eviscerator" Blumenauer!

What's truly scary about "Genghis" Blumenauer's revelations is the pride he takes in his Svengali-like ability to twist the minds of good, honest, simple public servants to support his nefariousness (nefarity? nefaritudinism?): At one point, he crows, he convinced a "majority of Congressional Republicans [to support] similar provisions" in the. . . hmm. . . in the 2003 prescription drug bill. But wait: Wasn't that before Earl "The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" Blumenauer began working on the bill?

You know what this means, don't you?

EARL BLUMENAUER IS A PSYCHOTIC TIME-TRAVELER WITH MIND-CONTROL POWERS!

He even brags of his ability to befuddle that paragon of crystalline thought processes, Governor Sarah "I Would Never Kill Anything that Doesn't Have Four Legs and Accepts Christ as His Savior" Palin: "In the spring of 2008, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska issued a proclamation that stated the importance of end-of-life planning." You see? Obviously, it's "Rasputin" Blumenauer's fault that Palin was for death panels before she was against them. Thank God she saw the light!

Still, it hardly matters. This is "Shove Granny on a Pike" Blumenauer's America now. We're all just living in it. Well, until it's time for our death panel appointment, that is. Sad, sad times.

The face of pure evil? Rep. Earl "Hannibal" Blumenauer

(Image from Wikipedia.)